i dare you - charli d'amelio

epilogue

I had plans

After she left, you became emotionless.

Your heart shut off to those around you, and your mind could only think about her.

The only thing you felt was emptiness since your heart was aching. It sheltered itself from any emotion, not being able to take anymore pain.

The only thing you could think about was missing her, your brain didn't seem to care about anything else.
Your thoughts kept you awake at nights.
You couldn't even sleep in your own bed anymore since when you tried, you would remember her laying next to you.

At first you missed seeing her, you missed her smile, her freckles, looking into her eyes.

Then you missed touching her, hugging her, kissing her, having her lay down on your chest and playing with her hair, holding her hand and interwinding your fingers.

Then you missed hearing her, hearing the sound of her voice, her laugh and giggles, even the sound of her cries and yells. Anything.

You missed the smell of her clothes and shampoo, the sweet smell of her perfume she put on everyday.

You missed every little detail about her, anything she used to do. You missed her texts, her calls, going to her house or her coming over to your's.

You missed your memories together, the dates you went to, your first kiss, the moment you asked her to be your's, the first time you saw her, the last.

Everytime you thought about her tears came from your eyes.

Were you crying? At first, yes. Every day and night you would cry anytime you remembered her. But as time passed, you weren't really crying anymore. The tears just came out on their own, you didn't even make a noise or whimper.

You weren't even sure what was real and what was fake. You kept on going to school and faked your emotions, to outsiders you looked completely fine.
If you were able to fake being okay that easily, was your sadness even real? Were any of your emotions real?

The only person who knew what was going on was Madison. At first, you didn't share anything with her and acted like things were normal.

That all changed at this one night.

You were unable to sleep, as usual, and got out of your bed.
You were full-on crying, tears were running down your face as you whimpered in agony.

The only way you could fall asleep, even for the tiniest amount of time, was crying yourself to sleep in anywhere that wasn't your own bed.

So you lied down on the living room couch and curled into a ball, feeling nothing but sorrow.

Madison was woken up by the sounds of your crying, she got out of her bed and rubbed her eyes, walking towards the living room.

Her eyes were met with the sight of you endlessly crying, and she felt her chest ache.

"Y/n?" She worryingly called as she kneeled down beside the couch. "Baby what's wrong? Are you okay?"

You looked up at her, and your eyes spoke for you. When she looked into your eyes, she immediately understood what was going on.

She grabbed you into her arms and held you tightly while quietly repeating four words.

"You're gonna be okay."

That night you both fell asleep in her bed, she protectively held you in her arms as you both slept through the night.

That was the first time in a while where you slept for the entire night.

After that, you started opening up a little. You and Madison started talking about the whole thing, turns out that it really affected you both.

Madison promised that she'll do anything she can to help, and she really was payed a major part in the process of your healing.

With her help, you finally started moving on.

As time went by and the school year advanced, you were getting better.

You got used to not seeing her anywhere you went, but still, there was a tiny part of you hoping you will.

You finished the English project on your own and submitted it only including your own name. After all, she wasn't a student in your school anymore, was she?

She was still in the actual project,and it's very clear that she was a part of it, but now, it was only your's.

Everything you two had shared was now only your's.

And you couldn't help but wonder if the same could be said about your shared memories.