Thirteen Months

Snapped

TW // bullying, cyber-bullying, mild violence, blood, slurs

Note: This chapter contains racial and homophobic slurs in the context of bullying.

Mizuko stared at her reflection in the mirror. The uneven, jagged ends of her braids seemed to taunt her, a constant reminder of that fateful day in the bathroom. Mizuko shuddered just thinking about it. It wasn't a shudder of fear or regret. No. That was a shudder of anger. Hot, boiling rage. 

 A reckless fog seemed to settle over her, clouding out all rational thought. And she let it. She allowed the anger to cover her like a blanket, to muffle everything else.  A tiny part of her knew what she felt was wrong, but she felt good. She felt powerful.

Mizuko reached up and started untangling her braids, letting her hair fall into its natural state; the tight curls fell just past her shoulders, giving her a wild look not unlike a dark lion's mane. She looked at the pictures she had pulled up on her phone of gorgeous asian beauties with their long silky hair. Looking back at the mirror, Mizuko sighed. There was no way she would be able to make her hair look like that. Another reminder that she didn't belong here.

A numbness settled over the barely masked anger she felt. "I don't care anymore," the girl whispered to herself. If they weren't going to care about her, she would no longer care about them. As Mizuko left the bathroom, she could feel the thorn inside her piercing even deeper into her heart.

***

"Mizuko! Your hair! It's so gorgeous!" Michimiya called to her across the court as Mizuko entered the gym. Mizuko didn't respond, instead moving over to a bench and setting down her backpack. She pulled off her jacket and concentrated on lacing up her volleyball shoes -- anything to drown out...everyone.

Ichika and the three others walked over to her, smug smirks on their faces. "You know," Ichika said. "You look like some wild animal. But that's probably normal for someone like you. Isn't that right you little nig--" Ichika's words were cut off by black. Her head snapped back and she swore she saw stars. When her vision finally cleared, she realized she was on the ground, her uniform wrinkled and dirty and covered with...red? A sharp pain cut through her hazy senses and she clutched at her nose. "Oh my god!" Ichika screamed. "You bitch!" Mizuko just stood there, her face emotionless. A crowd of both the girls' and the boys' teams had started to gather.

"New girl snapped!"

"I think she broke Ichika's nose!"

"Damn she must be angry!"

The voices barely registered in Mizuko's mind. All she felt was numb. Not even the sting in her knuckles could pull her back to reality.

"Mizuko!" A voice called. She didn't look, instead staring down at Ichika with an expressionless face. "What are you doing?" The voice came closer, and Mizuko vaguely registered Daichi standing next to her. He tried to look her in the eye, but she looked past him, her eyes empty. "What were you thinking? You can't just hit people!" Mizuko cringed internally at the harsh tone he used, but she refused to let any emotions surface. These people didn't know her. They didn't deserve to know her. They didn't get to know what she was feeling or what she was thinking. Daichi grabbed her shoulders and shook her slightly.

Hands. Blood. Pain everywhere. Mizuko flinched away from Daichi, images, memories, and thoughts overwhelming her senses.

"Daichi! Stop it!" Sugawara pulled Daichi away from Mizuko rather roughly, but not unkindly. "You're scaring her!"

"I'm scaring her? Suga, she just punched someone!" Daichi raised his voice at the setter. Mizuko flinched again, putting her hands over her ears. She clenched her eyes shut, trying desperately to stop the images flooding her mind.  

"Daichi, stop!" Sugawara pleaded. He pointed to Mizuko. "Look what you're doing!"  Daichi didn't listen, instead he grabbed Mizuko's wrist and dragged her to the club room, Sugawara trailing behind them.

Once Daichi shut the door of the club he whirled on Mizuko. "What was that?" he asked her. Mizuko flinched and refused to look at him. Her legs felt weak and she leaned against the lockers, sliding down to a seated position on the floor. She could not afford to get overwhelmed, not right now. She didn't look at Daichi or Sugawara, instead focusing on taking deep breaths.

"Enough, Daichi!" Sugawara sharply intervened. "Go outside and cool off for a few minutes." Daichi grumbled, but he listened to his friend and left, closing the door after him.

Outside the clubroom, Daichi paced up and down. Anger ate at him, burying something else. Guilt. The guilt that, if he did not smother with anger, would consume him. Daichi couldn't help but feel responsible for Mizuko. She wouldn't have punched that girl unless there was a good reason. What was it? Bullying? A fight over a boy? Competitiveness in volleyball? Whatever it was, Daichi felt that it was his fault that he hadn't noticed or been able to understand what was going on in Mizuko's head. Now that he thought about it, he remembered Mizuko's eye bags being darker more prominent. And that moment yesterday when they had parted ways to go to their separate teams, there had been a look in her eyes of almost....fear? Something was happening to her. Something that Daichi didn't protect her from. All he did was yell at her and make things ten times worse. "Snap out of it!" he chided himself. "This is not the time to feel sorry for yourself. You can apologize later. Right now, you need to find out what's wrong with Mizu."

As if on cue, Sugawara poked his head out of the club room and silently motioned him inside. Daichi went inside, and kneeled down in front of Mizuko. "Hey," he murmured. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I didn't mean to scare you." She just nodded.

"Daichi," Sugawara said. "She showed me this. You should probably look at it." Daichi looked up as Sugawara handed him Mizuko's phone. As Daichi scrolled through the messages, his heart dropped into his stomach. There was text after text, each one more hateful than the last. Finally, Daichi stopped at the latest one from that morning: HEY NIGGER FAG DO US A FAVOR & DIE !!! LOL :))))))

"Suga," he breathed. "We have to--"

"I know, Daichi," Sugawara said evenly. "But right now, we have to make sure Mizuko is okay." Daichi nodded. He scooted next to Mizuko and pulled her into him. She let him, burrowing further under his arm and curling her knees up to her chest.

"Shh, I've got you, sis," Daichi murmured. "I promise."