Thirteen Months

Heartbeat

Sugawara and Daichi stared at each other in alarm.  Kill me?  Daichi thought to himself, who did this to her?  Who hurt her so much that she'd rather die than experience whatever had happened to her?  The captain saw the same thoughts flash across Sugawara's face as they shared a look.

Sugawara was the first to act. He immediately grabbed a water bottle from a nearby gym bag and scooted closer to Mizuko. His heart clenched as she flinched away from him, but he did his best to ignore it. Gently, he pressed the ice cold water bottle to the back of Mizuko's neck, trying to block out the sounds of her distress.

***

Mizuko shuddered and lurched forward gasping. There had been no slow return to reality. No gentle easing from memory to the present. One moment, she had been trapped in her reliving of her past trauma; the next she was faced with the sensory overload that came from snapping back from the depths of whatever past experiences, memories, and traumas she had been reliving just moments before.

"Shh, you're okay," Sugawara soothed.

"I'm right here, sis," Daichi murmured. Mizuko looked up and slowly surveyed her surroundings.

Lockers. Bench. Poster. Door. Gym bags. Water bottles. She was in the boys' volleyball club room. She was safe. Daichi was here. Sugawara was here. Everything was okay.

Except, it wasn't. The ghosts of her past were still fresh in her mind, and Mizuko couldn't seem to shake them. Seeming to sense this, Sugawara quickly moved so Mizuko was forced to look him in the eye. "You're safe," he said firmly. "We've got you." Mizuko's eyes filled with fresh tears of relief, and she fell forward grasping onto the setter.

Sugawara froze in shock. Mizuko sobbed into his shirt, hands fisting the material as she cried out her agony, fear, and overall frustration with the situation. Hesitating for only a moment, Sugawara held her close, quickly putting an arm around the shaking girl with the other cradling her head protectively and stroking her hair gently. Daichi moved closer and put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. Mizuko sank into the embrace, her sobs calming as she listened to Sugawara's heartbeat. The three of them stayed like that for a long while, recovering from the intensity of the episode.

***

"Mizu, can I ask you something?" Sugawara asked almost timidly. Mizuko nodded in response against his chest. "Did...did I do or say something that, um, triggered you?" He took a deep breath to steady himself before continuing in a rush, "It just seemed like you've been avoiding me ever since you came to my house to help watch the twins and I was just wondering if I did something wrong? You've barely even looked at me all day. I thought, I dunno, that we were making progress and you trusted me, but maybe I got too ahead of myself? Did you not like my house? I know the twins can be pretty loud, was it that? Or did I say something or--or--or---"

"Suga," Mizuko murmured, interrupting his rambling. It hadn't been loud in the slightest, but the sound of her voice had been enough to stop Sugawara from worrying himself sick. She glanced briefly at Daichi who simply gave her a small nod in response. Mizuko inhaled deeply before looking Sugawara dead in the eye. "I only have about a year and a half left."