Broken Love | Matt Espinosa

Chapter 22- Can you hear me?

"Lately I've been, I've been losing sleep, Dreaming about the things that we could be. But, baby I been, I've been praying hard, Said no more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars"

Shawn was performing Counting Stars for the people in the waiting room.

Everybody was entertained and loved his voice.

Matt and I were sitting next to each other holding hands at the back of the audience.

Every once in a while he would look at me and smile.

I'm so happy that we made up. I've found myself so much happier now, even after what happened to Cameron.
-
As Shawn finished the song, a doctor walked up to us and smiled.

"Ms.Johnson?"

I stood up and walked closer.

"Yes?"

"Even though Mr.Dallas is still in a coma, you are allowed to visit him."

I smiled wide and started jumping around in excitement.

"Really?! Thank you so much!!" I screeched.

He nodded and started leading me to his room.

I quickly turned around and waved at the rest of the boys, all of them giving me a thumbs up and smiling.

I caught up to the doctor as he walked up a long hallway. It kinda creeped me out but I didn't care at this point, I couldn't wait to see my cousin for the first time in a while.

"Doctor Brown, will Cameron be able to hear me?" I asked quietly.

He looked down at his feet while walking. "We aren't too sure, he might be able to, but he also might not. I guess we'll find out when he wakes up"

I nodded, continuing down the hallway.

He stopped at the end and slowly opened the door for me.

"Take as long as you want Ms.Johnson" he said before walking back down the hallway.

I stepped inside of the door and quietly closed it behind me.

I walked beside the bed and saw a beat-up Cameron.

He has scrapes and bruises on his face and arms.

He had a bandage around his head and a cast around his neck to keep it in place.

I felt the tears slip down my cheeks as I looked at my cousin. It was so hard to see him like this.

Remembering the smile he always had on his face, and now this.

It hurts to see him hurt.

I sat down in the chair next to the hospital bed.

I grabbed onto his hand which felt like icicles.

I rubbed my thumb in circles, trying to stop myself from crying at the same time.

How could I let this happen to him? He doesn't deserve to be in this much pain, he doesn't deserve this at all.

I couldn't stop myself anymore, I just lost it.

I put my face into the pillow beside his head and let all of the cold tears soak my cheeks and the pillow case.

I remembered that he might be able to hear me, so I lifted my head up and tried to think of what I could say.

"Um.. Hi Cam. It's Sophia. Uh, I can finally visit you now.."

I moved my chair in closer to the bed.

"I don't know if you can hear me, but If you can I- I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. You shouldn't be in here and you shouldn't have to go through this at all. You deserve so much better. It's my fault you're in here, it's my fault that you left that night.."

I felt more tears fall, and I grasped onto his hand tighter.

"I feel horrible for doing this to you.. I should be the one in the hospital bed right now. I.. I just wish there was something I could've done to prevent this from happening. You've always been there for me and protected me, and I can't even do the same in return. I-I'm so sorry Cam. Can you hear me?"

I waited for a few seconds, not expecting a reply but wishing I had one.

I quickly kissed his forehead and stood up to leave.

As I was walking towards the door, I heard Cameron's machines start beeping like crazy and in only a few seconds there were at least 6 doctors in the room, rushing over to Cameron's side.

One doctor grabbed me and pulled me out of the room. I was shaking and my heart was racing.

I didn't know what was happening, it was all happening so fast.

As soon as I was out of the door, the doctor ran back in and I was quickly comforted by Matt and the other guys.

"WHAT-WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?" I panicked and Matt rubbed my back and quietly went "shh"

I tried to push myself away from him and go back into the room but he had a tight grip on me and wouldn't let go.

"LET GO OF ME I HAVE TO SEE HIM!!" I screamed.

I felt like somebody just kicked me in the stomach. I felt dizzy, like I was about to pass out.

I heard one of the doctors loudly say that his heart stopped and that they had to rush him into emergency.

As soon as they said it, I felt like my heart stopped as well.

I started screaming. I screamed as loud as I possible could. I didn't care if I was disturbing anybody. I didn't care about anything, except for Cameron.

I couldn't breathe, I was crying too hard.

Matt finally lost his grasp on me and I sprinted towards the 'one person' bathroom.

I heard the boys running behind me but I quickly ran through the door and locked it before they could catch up.

I slid down the cold wall and cried into my hands.

I couldn't take this anymore, this is too much to deal with.

I feel like I'm alone in the world now even though I know I'm not. I know I have all of the boys and Mahogany but for some reason I feel like I'm alone to deal with this.

I looked up on the sink and I saw a glass vase. I quickly grabbed it and smashed it on to the floor.

I could hear the boys yelling for me to open the door but I ignored them.

I picked up a piece of glass and did something I never thought I would do.

I started cutting up my arms.

-

A/N

:(!!!!

I'm sorry guys, this was sadder than I thought it was going to be.

What do you think about her self-harming for the first time? Comment below..

Thank you guys for 4.5 thousand reads!! It means the world to me <3

I hope you are all enjoying this story! Please continue to read because I promise that it is going to be getting very entertaining soon ;)

Also please follow me on Twitter-- @cherishespinosa :)

I love you all <3- Emma