The Circle

12.Lions Den

I refrain from thinking about my potential execution for this discretion if we were to be caught. As Isaac carries me closer to his dorm I become increasingly aware of what I am about to do. Enter the lions den. There is no turning back from this, once I've entered and looked inside, there is no unseeing what I will see. Is he messy? Does he keep a knife under his pillow like I do?

Who even thinks of this stuff. Is he messy? I groan in chagrin.

"You ok?"

I jolt in surprise.

"Yep" is all I manage.

We come to a stop and Isaac sets me down slowly, he turns to face the door. As I look at the door it seems to grow in size until I'm just ant size compared to its ginormous pinnacle. I look over at Isaac and he's watching me with a soft look on his eyes.

"You ready?"

I'm unable to speak so all I manage is a nod. He unlocks the door and before he pushes it open he takes a breath and holds my hand, pulling me inside.

Walking in I feel like the string that held me to safety has snapped and I'm now all alone in my discovery to the truth. His dorm isn't what I expected, yet I see himself in the decor. Mismatched rugs cover the concrete floor, it's all open plan and I can see the kitchen, bedroom and living area. "Bathroom?"

"In here" he says and pulls me round a corner to a frosted glass half wall, walking around it I find the bathroom, complete with a walk in shower and a toilet with the necessities. I see he has a mirror and I go over to it. It's weird being able to see yourself alone in a mirror, the ones in my dorm are always filled with the other girl recruits and it's awkward to say the least.

I stand there and look at myself, my raven hair contrasting to my dried mud coloured eyes, the weird mark on my neck and the dusting of freckles over my nose. I'm a total opposite of Isaac, his jade green eyes shine brightly against his mocha skin, he is perfection whilst I am a mishmash of small inconsequential features. I look at him in total wonder, and cannot think what a god-like specimen see's in the small deer-in-headlights kind of girl I am.

"How is your back?"

"My back?" I say in confusion and continue staring open mouthed at him. His walk is even perfect, he is calm yet dangerous.

"Yes Kira, your back. You got cut on your first day. I've been meaning to ask you?" he steps closer to me and touches the bottom of my top, he looks back up at me as if asking for permission.

"Oh, uh... ye...um, uhuh" I manage and nod. He smiles slightly at his affect and my bashful manner. He always manages to leave me in a mess of tongue-tied murmurs.

Isaac slowly lifts up my top halfway before realising the scar goes all the way to my neck, he pulls down the top before I gain control of my body and step forward, his eyes shoot up to mine and I smile before pulling my top over my head and holding it to my chest. I still have some modesty to protect.

The scar runs an inch from my hairline to the middle of my back, because it being still pretty new its pink in colour and soft to touch. Unexpected to his touch I shudder when I feel his fingers lightly press the top of the scar. He follows the scar down to the end and I shudder once more at the tingles running all through my body from his feather-like touch.

"Beautiful" I hear him murmur. The spell is broken for me and I scoff, ruining his trance-like state.

"Yeah right. I bet you say that to all the girls"

As I put on my top I feel him watching me but I continue out into his living area where the two odd sofas seem to make quite the pair. I sit on one and him the other, opposite each other. Watching and waiting for someone to make the first move.

"Why am I here Isaac?"

"I want you here"
I roll my eyes and refrain from shouting at him. "Don't be obtuse" I scold.
He sighs and shifts back on the sofa, relaxing it seems, me on the other hand. I can't sit still, I'm fidgeting all over the place, unable to calm down.
"Why do you treat me this way?" I ask quietly.
"What do you mean?" He cocks his head slightly at my question truly not understanding me.
Men are dense sometimes.
"Like why do you help me and say nice things to me then act like a dick the next. It's very confusing and not fair at all. I can't keep doing this, it's exhausting and with training and staying alive I don't need the extra stress of whether or not you truly like me. So if you can't tell me why I am here honestly then I'll leave" I finish my speech and stand up, slowly walking over to the door hoping he does what I want for the first time and tells me how he feels.
"I've never felt this way before" he halts me in my tracks.
"Like what?"
"Look who's being obtuse now" he deflects
I take another step towards the door and wait for him to continue.
"Ok, ok. I mean in terms of what I've been taught, it's always been to not feel, to not think just do. Then you come along and you're like a whirlwind of emotions. Its refreshing and enthralling"
"Erm...thanks?"
He laughs softly and continues, "you make me feel alive Kira, I'm not just an automated machine intent on killing anything that stands in the way of the colony. I feel, I hurt and I sure as hell care. Probably more than I should."
"As much as this is enlightening, you're still not telling me why I am here" I enquire.
"You're here because I can't seem to let you go"
"Oh"
"No matter how hard I try, and God knows I've been trying, there's something about you Kira that is like a moth to a flame."
"Why fight so hard?" I ask turning to face him to find him not sitting on the sofa but metres away from me.
He continues his speech looking at me, unnerving me until I'm a quivering mess. "Because Kira! It's dangerous. I know that when it comes down to me having to sacrifice myself for the good The Circle or the Colony I won't. Simple as. I won't subject you to that."
"People die all the time Isaac"
"Not the people you love" he tells me softly.