Unfit to Be the Heroine

In This Story (THE END)

We hugged each other and Nanami bawled like a child. She must have held a lot for how many years. 

I will keep on waiting for you to come back because I love you. 

After some time, she sat down on a small chair and looked at the floor. I removed the noose from the ceiling. "Later, let's go and visit the hospice together", I smiled. She raised her head and smiled as well. 

"Rin-Rin. You're changing. You're growing stronger. I'm so glad", she winked. "Don't sound like my parents", I pouted. "I will never be the kind of person that you and Hiroshi are. For me to be a lively and bubbly person, I don't think I could do that. But if there's something I can do other than that, I'd be willing to", I covered my face because I felt like I'm blushing. 

I saw two figures entering. Kaede-san leaned on the doorpost and Hiroshi walked behind Nanami. When I saw that look in his eyes, I knew what's coming next. I sighed in defeat and laughed at myself. I turned around and looked at the ground. This was the first place that Nanami and I met. This is where I ran away from her. Am I doing a good job now? Is it okay now that I faced her fair and square?

Behind me, I felt like Nanami stood up and she was pulled in a tight hug. 

"I love you, Nanami. For so long, I tried to hide it and ignore this feeling. For the two of us who can't seem to love ourselves, it's fortunate that we're still given the chance to love others. I want you to know that Rin and I love you. You're someone that I want to keep coming back to", Hiroshi confessed. I breathed deeply. 

If someone starts loving us, we get to realize that there are lovable things in us even if we are disgusted with our own selves. 

I walked away and was startled to see Kaede-san watching with a smile on his face. He called for me and we went downstairs. "That was a shock. I didn't know that someone could snatch her away from me", Kaede-san stretched his arms. 

I walked in front of him. "Jealous?", he asked. I threw a nearby rock and he was able to evade it. "All those thoughts that made me think that I like him maybe just because I wrote too much romance manga. Maybe I was just delusional to think that I could also be on the stage. I knew that what I felt with Hiroshi was admiration. It was confusing for me after all this time but when I look back, I knew I couldn't be a heroine for such an almost perfect main character. For him to recognize me is already enough", I said while looking down at the wooden floor. "What is this? A movie drama? A manga? You've been writing so much that maybe you're just rationalizing your thoughts", Kaede-san grabbed on my head. "It hurts", I complained.

"Then say it as well if your feelings are. I know what you feel because I feel the same. Was it painful because we expected? ", he looked so sad. I broke into tears and he hugged me listening to all my complaints. Yeah, even if I felt that I just admired him, I was shocked that he chose Nanami. Even if I already have that idea before, I tried to ignore it if it becomes real. But, I am happy. I am happy that someone will keep coming back to Nanami. 

With that, I punched Kaede-san's side. "That's because you didn't return to her", I blamed and pouted. He just laughed and I laughed with him. 

"It's amazing, isn't it? We're so many complicated people and situations are also complicated and yet we find ways to always be connected to human beings", Kaede-san looked at the blue sky and so did I. 

Epilogue

The next few days, Nanami spent time in hospice with Kai. I already tried to let go of attachments and he also calls me by my first name. When I came back to the office, Yosaku-san was so worried about my puffed eyes and pushed me to have a date with Iwami-san. 

"I am not going out with you because I had a recent heartbreak but that thing made me realize how I would also want to spend time with someone who would be fine to like me even if I don't", I said while we were seated on the restaurant. Iwami dropped his spoon so I picked it up. When I looked back at him, he was frozen. I gave a peck on his cheek and he seemed to come back to life. 

He stood on and made a victory pose. "I DID IT!!! I DID IT, BROTHER! MOM! DAD!", he cried. I chuckled. "Congratulations", I clapped for him. Iwami-san looked like a child whenever he is praised or when he's happy. 

Nanami and Kai, said they are not yet officially going out. I think it's because Nanami is still considering my feelings. I told her to decide on her own and not because of what the situation brought. Plus, Kaede-san and Kai suddenly became best friends. Kaede-san told me that Kai asked for permission to steal Nanami away. Who does that?

With that, I am starting with a new book. It's a book where the heroine doesn't have to end up with the main character. My editor cried a lot and begged me to change the ending but my decision is final. For some reason, it became a popular novel and was adapted to become a movie series. 

Five years passed...

I moved into Iwami's apartment and we started to redecorate the house. 

Congratulations on getting married!

Have three beautiful sons!

You went ahead of us, best wishes!

Iwami and I got married a few days ago and we are now starting a new family. I saw what Nanami gave as a gift to Iwami and I laughed a lot. "Don't-", he was shy. It was the same ink brand that I bought that time in the convenience store. I hugged him at the back. 

"Thank you for noticing me in the background", I closed my eyes. 

He held unto my hand and nodded.