just friends // billie eilish

nineteen

My eyes cracked open slightly only to be met with the sight of a pillow. I closed them again, trying to wake myself up as best i could. I was under the covers which i knew i wasn't under before and Billie was no longer next to me. I heard the soft strumming of a guitar and a quiet voice humming along.

I turned around on my back silently, trying not to make a noise and spotted Billie sitting near her bedroom window, plucking guitar strings softly as she stared out at the darkening sky.

"I love you and i know i do...No." Billie shook her head slightly and started thinking hard, i could tell by the expression on her face. She kept the tune going as she mumbled a few words, testing to see what sounded right. I don't think she knew i was awake and watching her.

"I love you and i don't want to." She finally settled on, giving herself a soft smile and watching her fingers move on the strings. I felt a slight tug at my heart with a weird mix of feelings i couldn't put a finger on. Who did she love and why didn't she want to?

"Billie?" I spoke up, my voice cracking slightly from sleep. The blonde turned around quickly to look at me. I could see now her hair was damp and she changed into a simple black shirt that stopped just above her knees.

"Mia, hey." Billie sat her guitar down and came over next to me, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Who were you singing about?" I asked, curiosity getting the best of me. Billie shrugged her shoulders, dismissing my question.

"Tell me." I pressed, rubbing the backs of my hands on my tired eyes. I heard Billie sigh and she played with a strand of her damp hair while she looked at me.

"You." She answered simply, looking away now.

"You love me and you don't want to? Why don't you want to?" I asked, a little hurt. I didn't even know i was doing it but i moved away from her a little and Billie's eyebrows pulled over her eyes in sadness.

"No, not like that. I don't want to love you because it's harder to hide my love for you in public. I don't want to have to act like 'just friends' all the time. I want to show you off." Billie's fingers tapped on her bare knee, looking for a response.

"You know we can't." I whispered, reaching over to touch her hand.

"I know that." She sent me a shy smile. "We can be just friends to the public and lovers everywhere else." Billie lay herself on her back next to me, not saying anything but grabbing my hand and placing it on her chest. I could feel her heart beating steadily against my palm and it reminded me that she was here. Alive. Healthy. And mine.

"I like that." I replied to her a few moments later. She turned her head and i did the same, meeting her eyes in a loving gaze.

"I love you." Billie squeezed my hand once while a smile lit up her face.

"I love you too." I squeezed her hand back and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her forehead. I let it linger for a few seconds before i pulled back and let out a sigh in contentment.

"What time is it?" I broke the comfortable silence to ask.

"My phone is behind me. Check." Billie mumbled, eyes closed. I reached over her body to check the time on her phone on the bedside table. It was around 9:30 and i couldn't help but see Amber's name pop up on her phone with new notifications. I rolled my eyes and lay back down.

"Bitch is texting you." I mumbled, turning on my side with my back against Billie's front. Her arms automatically wrapped around my waist and she threw her leg over mine. Her face was hid in my neck.

"Amber? Whatever." Billie pulled me tighter against her and i let out a giggle. "Wanna have an early night? Go to sleep, get up earlier than usual. Do something fun."

"That sounds really nice." I admitted, my eyes already shutting.

"Nice." I could feel the blonde smile into my neck and sleep soon took over the both of us.

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A/N*
short one
then again all of them are short😭