Don't be scared baby

Now or never

We walked up the stairs Into our bedroom and I sat on the bed. I looked down at my feet. And then too my hands. Then my tummy. I started to cry

"Macie?" Nathan asked putting the towel to his head and rubbed aggressively to dry his full head of hair

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay, I'm just sad"

"This is scary. It is. I'm not going to lie. I'm scared too don't worry thi. Whatever happens baby we will be okay I promise whatever happens happens okay?" He said and planted a kiss on my cheek and we walked into the bathroom together.

I pulled the box out of the bag and I looked at it. I cried harder "Nathan, I'm going to be an awful mom. I can't do this" he instantly wrapped his arms around me and comforted me

"Everything is going to be alright. You'll be an amazing mom. But hey you don't even know forsure if you are so let's find out okay?" I sniffeled and got my shit together and peed on the stick. Nathan sat down beside me leaving against the clear glass shower door, and put a hand on his forehead, letting out a large breath. "This is scary" I looked at him starting to cry again

"Baaaabe" tears poured down my face

"Why would you say that. You know I'm already scared" I cried. "Shit I'm sorry I know. I'm scared tooo tho hunny" he said

We have to wait now. This is going to be the longest five minutes of my life.

"Oh no! Macie you had drinks tonight what if you are?!"  I laughed alittle. Nathan it's way to early to even affect it but it will be okay and I will get it checked out.

"How do you actually feel about this. Like if I am... how do you feel?" I asked wanting to get inside his head

"Well, I do think it's soon and I wouldn't have planned it for just yet but if this is what  God is giving us and what the world wants then so be it. We can figure it out. And we will absolutely kill it baby. And if we aren't then the time wasn't right and we can in the future plan it and plan to start a family when we are ready" he smiled and grabbed both my hands and kissed me.

"Okay it's now or never Nate" I said and reached over the counter and picked up the test. A laughed. And laughed hard until my laughs turned into a soft cry and I put my face into my boyfriends chest. "We're having a baby" I sobbed into his shirt

He tried to sooth me by rubbing my back and shooshing me but I was just not okay. How is this okay

"Im so sorry baby" I pleaded to him. Almost like something was wrong,

He shook his head "stop Macie stop don't be sorry. It's going to be ok. We're going to be ok!" He was trying to convince both of us with his words

After about an hour in the bathroom I got dressed and went to the kitchen to make some food. I was on a permanent low. I was sad deep down. I made soup. I handed Nathan his. I took mine and went up to Our room and closed the door. I sat on the bed and placed my soup down. I let out a quiet cry. I can't do this. Who said this was ok. I'm so mad at the world. I need my mom. But I can't tell her are you crazy. I'm crazy. Maybe this is all a dream. I need to go to sleep. Maybe everything will be better in the morning.

Nathan's POV.

I knew Macie needed her time. Space and how hard I tried she still just needed time to her self. It's like her defence mechanism. She handles things on her own when they get hard but it's not shears the best bc she goes in lock down. She gets depressed.  Quiet. Sad and won't let anyone in her beautiful soul. I need to do what's right and help her but she doesn't want help. I get that I really really do trust me. But I need her too. She's having a baby. I helped make it. I'm apart  if this too. Why can't we both figure it out together. I turned on a show to distract myself for a while and leave her alone.

I woke up and looked at the time. It was around 2 am. I decided I should go to bed no need to sleep on the couch.

I walked into the bedroom trying to be as quiet as possible. I seen my poor girl in alittle ball with an empty soup bowl cradled in between her body, some tissues and water bottle, and in her hand, a picture of her and Sidney. I wanted to cry at the sight but I knew it wasn't the time nor was it needed. I'm ok. She will be ok. Only it will take time to process.

I took the bowl from in between her legs and chest and placed it on the night stand. I lightly pulled the photograph out of her hand and the box of Kleenex and put them away then I pulled the covers over her. I took off my shirt and turned off the lights. I brought my arm around Macie and kissed the back of her neck " I love you baby, more then puck" and with that I tired to fall asleep. It took a while but then I drifted off into a much needed sleep.

The next morning

I woke up to coughing in the bathroom. Followed by a gruesome sound. It was Macie, hurrling.  I groaned and got up to bring her water. I heard her laugh. "Yup, pregnant" she says to her self I just shook my head. She makes her self laugh and it's cute but this is serious.

"Here baby, yiu ok?" I said taking her hair out of her hands and holding it. And rubbing her bare back with my other hand. She nodded and spit the remaining liquid in her throat out into the toilet " here I got you some water, I'll get you a shirt too" seeing as she's only in a sports bra 

"Thankyou Nathan for everything. I'm sorry for how I treated you, and the situation yesterday. I just need some time" she told me. Well I'm glad she actually said it and admitted it. Usually she tried to say nothing is wrong.

" it's ok love, it's always okay, Im here. I'll always be here. Forever okay? I just wanna be with you and support you and whatever happens will happen and we can do it together. We are an amazing team baby don't forget that" I said and she turned her face towards mine. "Team forever" she said and went to fist bump me but I went in for a quick kiss

"Ohhhh no! Nope not now mackinnon I just puked my face off I don't wanna kiss you that's gross why would you want to kiss me!" She giggled. She was happy. I'm helping! My heart was warming at her laughter

"Oh common it's whatever" she shrugged and kissed me

"Oh god ok maybe not until you brush your teeth pretty girl" I said sipping her water and wiping my lips to get the puke taste off of mine

We spent the morning lounging and laughing trying to adjust to the new changes we are having/ adding to our team