Young and Beautiful

Pain Beyond Compare

"Arrgghhh shit!"

My hands are clutched to my chest, my body rocking backwards and forwards as my arms stay stock still and tense. My mouth is open as I scream, the pain too much for my body to handle first thing on a Monday morning.

"Tom? Tom?!"

I scream as loud as possible so that he may hear me in the kitchen. I hear a kettle boil, water run and footsteps approach my bedroom as I curl up in agony. Tom places a hand on my clenched fists and opens them to allow me to grip hold of a hot water bottle. I snatch it away, pushing under my tshirt and, slowly but surely, begin to spread back onto the bed in a state of comfort and peace. Tom steps back and stares in wonder. His eyes run rapidly up and down my body, searching for clues as to what just happened. He runs away again and in a short few moments, returns with a mug of freshly brewed tea. I take hold of it, more gently than before, and sit there, crossed legs sipping at my tea and occasionally pushing the hot water bottle up towards my stomach.

After nearly ten minutes of silent stares and gazes, Tom finally opens his mouth to speak, his voice shaky and panicked.

"What," he begins, waving his arms slowly, "the fuck was that?" I look up from my mug and gaze into his eyes. It's now I notice how pale his face is and how shaken up his is due to my 'episode'.

"That my dear friend was a delightful experience known as 'period cramps'. You grow to love them." I say sarcastically, watching his face become even more confused than normal. He edges closer to the bed and frowns. "Has it-" His voice trails off into nothing and I lift my hand up so as he may take it. "No it has not stopped and I dare say there will be another come along in the next twenty minutes." His face drops with pure fear and I smile sympathetically. "It'll be fine." I say, tapping the space next to me before letting him sit beside me.

"I never realised how painful it could be." He says, staring at the wall in front of us. He frowns again and looks at me. "If that's just cramps, how bad is labour?" We look at each other, then at the wall, and then sigh, in sync. We both frown and it takes me a few moments to pluck up the courage to say,

"Was that a hint?"

He smiles to himself, still staring at the wall. "No no no..." he grins. "Not unless you want it to be."

I giggle and lean over to rest my head on his shoulder. "You are funny Tom."

He frowns again, this time looking down at me. "I was being serious. We could, you know."

I look up at him, laughing. I blink a few times and realise that it's only me laughing. His face makes my heart flutter. You know that look a puppy gives its master when it sees a bone? That was my Tom.

"I'm serious!" He says, jumping up onto his knees and knocking my head to the side. "We could have a baby! Ohhh we could give it a really cheesy pop star name like," he stopped, staring deep in thought. "Winifred?"

I stop laughing and stare right at him. "Winifred? Really?" He nods, grinning nearly out of control. "Oh please Rachel?"

I frown and then smile. "We can't Tom."

I watch in despair as his face drops, his body sinks and the light that shone so brightly only moments ago, flickers out of existence.

"I didn't mean not ever. Just not right now."

His ears perk up and the smile returns, ever so slowly but still bringing hope.

"I mean you've got this new film, I've got stuff I need to sort out with music and shit. So we're just not ready at this moment in time."

He smiles slighty, his body re lifting itself up as I finish my sentence. "What about in three months time?" He smirks cheekily.

I smile back and lean in to kiss him on the cheek. "Maybe..."