❝Being alone is easy, it's the loneliness that'll kill you.❞
❝I can deal with the noise. I don't mind the noise. The quiet is a different story.❞
In which both Mara Reyes and Steve Rogers have no fucking idea what they're doing with t...
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CHAPTER TEN Practice
ANDY HAD DREAMT of her brother and mother last night. Well it was more like a nightmare. She wasn't a stranger to nightmares. She used to get them all the time, but they had calmed down over the last few years and instead, got them regularly. This one was a recurring one. She was clinging to her brother begging him not to leave her, but he did, leaving her in an abyss of suffocating darkness with nothing and no one but her mother for company looming over her as a sharp pain jabbed in her arm.
She'd scream. She'd yell. She'd cry until her throat went raw and she had no more tears left in her. And nothing. Aaron still left. Her father was still gone. And her mother was still a bitch with a leash still wrapped around her neck. So the usual.
Working out while to music was a good way of getting her mind off it, but she had no energy to work out and instead resorted to sitting by her bed with her earphones in listening to Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong's 'Autumn in New York'. She had been up since five in the morning and it was nearing twelve in the afternoon. She was going out with Ryder in the evening which meant for once she had the whole day to herself. She hadn't had one in a while.
She shivered slightly and reached out for her knitted sweater. She had woken up covered in cold sweat and opened her window to let herself cool down and was now too lazy to close it.
She thought back to the day before when Steve had been round. They had a moment or at least what Andy thought was a moment. She could see his baby blue eyes so clearly. He no longer looked at her like he did at Jackie's – like a normal person nor did he look at her like he needed to be careful around her. But he looked at her like he believed in her. Which in another way was much scarier because what would happen when she inevitably disappointed him like she did with everyone. If she wasn't so terrible to be around, why would both her father and brother leave without her? And why would her mother be such a psychotic bitch?
She didn't know what else she had to offer him other than this mission and a few song recommendations. Though yes, Steve would always be the guy who hadn't brought enough money, he was also Captain America. Everything Captain America stood for came from Steve himself. Steve was good. Good enough to believe in and trust her.
But yet, she couldn't deny her stomach had fluttered when she looked up at him. They were close enough so she could feel his breath fanning her face. She couldn't let herself feel that way about him. It would only result in more pain and hurt for her. She could tell he was still holding on to Peggy and she was not interested in being a second choice for anyone – no matter how handsome or gentle or—
