Stuck At Default

MESSAGE CONVEYED.

The next couple of days were perfect. Trevor spent three nights in a row at my place. It was just perfect, going to sleep all cuddled up with him. Waking up next morning to his beautiful face. I know I've said it twice already, but it was just perfect.

But, no happiness lasts long. Especially mine. On Friday, I got a call from an unknown number. Usually I don't answer those calls, but something in me told me to answer it.

"Hello." I said.

"Hey. It's me." No, no, no, no. It can't be him. No.

"How did you get my number Ashton.?" I tried to say as calmly as I could.

"I asked your dad. But that's beside the point....." I cut him off.

"No it's not. Why did you fucking asked him for my number."

"If you could just tone down your drama a little bit and allow me to speak. I could tell you why I asked Mr.Parkinson for your number." He said. Oh how I hated him.

"Speak." I ordered.

"As you must remember, you were presented with an offer a few days ago. So I just forgot to add a tiny bit of information." He complied.

"And what was that tiny bit of information that you deemed so necessary, you had to call me up in the middle of my working hours." I could play sarcasm as well.

"See, this offer stands for a month. As you know, its a new venture, I dont want to delay this. So you've got till 25th of April to convey me your final decision. But I would really urge you once more, to give this a good thought. Ask that boyfriend of yours, he could be helpful." He said.

I dont why he was so adamant for me accepting this offer.

"Message conveyed. I'll have my answer ready 25th of April. Thank You." I replied sarcastically and hung up on him.

I knew he would call me up again right now to prove his point. But he did not. He didn't call me up again. I don't know why but instead of feeling good, my heart sank a bit.

I had not brought in my car today so Trevor had to drop me at my apartment before he headed back to his own. As it was Friday, his friends were dragging him to a club for drinks. He asked me to join him, so I could meet his circle but I denied politely.

I went inside my apartment only to find it empty, again. But it was fine. I wanted some alone time and a nice long bath. But somehow, instead of going to my room. I found myself walking towards the couch and collapse on it. I don't know why but my mind started going back years ago, recalling every damned memory that I had tried to supress.

As if a big cosmic joke, I started reliving every moment that included my ex. Ashton, whom I had loved as fiercely as he loved me. Everything that I never wanted to think about again, was starting to wiggle their way into my mind. My first kiss, my first time having sex, my first boyfriend in all its true sense. He was everything.

Accident. That fucking accident. I even relived that. The accident that tore apart every fucking thing I loved. I don't wanna think about it. I don't wanna think about any of it. That was when the tears started. Not heart breaking sobs, but just silent tears.

I just sat there, staring at nothing until I got no tears left to cry. Then, I silently got up and went into my bathroom. Stripping down to nothing, I got inside the bath, letting every bad memory seep out of my pores and down the drain. I must have spent more time than necessary in the bath, because my eyes were growing heavy.

I simply got out of the bath, dried up myself and pulled on an oversized tshirt. I had no energy left to cook up something for myself so I simply decided to let go of dinner and just sleep. And I slept, dreaming of not my future, but of my past. Of what I lost.