Stuck At Default

HE BROKE UP WITH ME

Aston was asleep when we entered the room. I mean it was obvious as he was in a medically induced coma. I don't know why, but this hit me hard. Roland entered before me and Blaine. She took my hand in hers and stopped me.

"You know, this is bringing back memories. And they are not good." She said, silver lining her eyes. Not for him, but for me.

"I now understand, how you must have felt Blaine. Seeing your best friend like this," Roland said from beside his bed.

Rol and Blaine were both standing beside Ashton's bed. I was still standing near the door. He looked peaceful while sleeping, as if he did not actually endure so much injuries and pain. His hair was all messed up. His serene face was covered in bruises, and his left arm was in a cast.

I know we broke up.......he broke up with me a long time ago. And whatever he did, it should make me hate him. And I did, I did hate him. But somehow, that hate had receded into a small room at the back of my mind. And my heart was breaking, seeing him like this.

It was getting too much for me to bear. So I decided to leave. I just quietly slipped out of the door and started walking. I got to my car in the parking lot and got inside. But I could not make myself turn on the ignition. I just sat there for a few minutes, my head on the steering wheel, trying to calm myself down. It took me awhile to learn how to do it after the accident.

There was a knock on my window. It was Blaine. She was motioning to me to unlock the door.

"Hey, can you drop me at my place.?" She asked, sliding in.

"Yeah, sure. Why not. Where is Roland.?" I asked, skeptical.

"He decided to stay the night at the hospital. He really doesn't want to leave him alone. So, he asked me to go home." She explained.

"Okay, lets go," I said, this time turning on the ignition.

Her place was in totally opposite direction to mine. The car ride was awkwardly silent all the way to her place. I knew there was something she wanted to ask me, and I kinda knew what that was.

"Okay, enough. Spit it out, Blaine." I decided to cut the chase.

We were already parked outside her apartment building. She looked stunned for a second.

"Why.?" She asked.

"Because I remember how it is like being there, in that bed. In that state. And I would never wish it on anyone," I replied.

"I understand. But your concern was a bit too much. After all that happened, all that he did to you. How could you.?" I don't know if that was my imagination, but she sounded as if she was accusing me.

"Yeah, we broke up. He broke up with me. But I knew him even before that, we used to be friends. And whatever I do to convince myself or others, I know I'm still gonna care for him."

"But why torture yourself by going to see him at the hospital.? See him down in the same state you were in years ago.?" She was slowly raising her voice.

"Because I loved him. I used to love him, I cared for him too damn much. And somewhere deep in my heart, that still remains. It still reminds me how much I loved him." Tears were streaming down my face.

Blaine engulfed me in her arms, running her hand through my hair soothingly. And I let it all out, every emotion that I have been feeling in the past two and a half hours.

After a couple of minutes, I finally calmed down enough to let go of her.

"I'm really sorry babe. I didn't mean to make you cry. But you are taking Ashton's accident too hard on yourself. Don't torture yourself like that. He is no more a part of your life." She tried to explain me.