Villainous Love (A Divergent Fanfic)

Chapter 18

I don't know how to feel. Sophie and Keith sit across from the girls and I in the infirmary, where they are trying to resuscitate Avi. But the trauma to his head can't be undone. Neither of them shed a tear, but their silence and the way they hold each others' hand is painful to observe.

There's a knot in my chest that I imagine is from sadness. Avi was the first of the Dauntless-borns to welcome us, to make us feel at home, to offer his help even though he had no reason to do so. I imagine his good naturedness wasn't enough to keep him out of trouble. Good naturedness doesn't cancel out strength and courage, nor talent. Avi was a kind soul. Better to convert to the past-tense now rather than prolong the misery.

The grief fills the room and I frown, suddenly unbearably uncomfortable. I get up without a word and leave, not even having the courtesy to look back with sympathy. I hurry out to the hall where I see Eric, stiff with his arms crossed speaking hushedly with Four, who has a stern look on his face.

"... at the club, and some were in the caf," I overhear Eric say to Four. "But as for Tracy, Elix, Rayne, and a couple others, we don't know."

"Elix was with Lauren," replies Four. "That leaves Tracy and Rayne. Have you spoken to either yet?"

"No, I haven't had-" Eric stops abruptly when he sees me.

"I was just headed back to the dorms," I say, without being asked.

"Chasm area is closed," says Eric. "You'll have to go the long way. I'll walk you. And," he turns to Four, "try and find them. Then we'll call a meeting."

-

Neither of us speak as we head to the dorms. I am too engrossed in my own thoughts to utter a word and Eric doesn't offer any condolences or words of comfort. This is to my preference.

We round the corner and appear at last at the dorms. They are empty.

"I don't think you should stay here alone," says Eric.

"I can handle myself," I reply.

"Don't care. You're probably a nice target for someone looking to alter the ranking board. Selene, I don't want to sound harsh, but now isn't the time to be stuck in your head. You're so close to completing initiation. You need your head in the game."

"I overheard you mention Tracy and Rayne. Did they do this?"

"We don't know, but they're the only two we have yet to speak with, or even find, for that matter. It's... a possibility."

I remain silent. I don't know what to say.

"You can stay with your friends or at my place until everyone is back in here. Which is it?"

"Your place," I mumble. I don't want to face my friends right now. It's selfish, but I need quiet for myself.

"Alright, let's go."

I peel myself off the wall and begin to walk towards the exit when Eric pulls me into a hug, engulfing me in his arms, and resting his chin on my head. I sink into him for the moment, then pull away and walk as close to him as possible without touching.

-

"Here," Eric says, handing me a steaming cup of tea. I take it and mutter a thanks. He sits on the chair across from me on his balcony. For a few moments, neither of us says anything. I watch the sky darken dramatically over the course of several minutes, and see the lights in the Erudite library flicker on, miles and miles away.

"Selene?"

"Hm?"

"Are you alright?"

"Why?"