Snowman || MCYT oneshots

things i would say as a streamer

hey besties it's been a while but i honestly don't have any inspiration to write so here is a shitpost chapter 

also thank you hat one person who always read my oneshots, i think your name was "ayanoshi?" or something like that but you always made my day bro 

maybe i'll get back into writing but i like ao3 more my ao3 is kookiepenguinweeb for those of you who want to check my account out honestly i don't write much there too lmao 

alr, cut the lights and get the cameras shooting, let's start this chapter.

(btw i have no face cam)

((also most of this is from old shitposts on tumblr if you don't like it don't read it bitch 🖕))

//

*someone donates*  "have you ever had any experience with homophobic people?"

I stop what I'm doing, and then laugh, for an extended amount of time (to where it's getting awkward). 

"I am in a christian family, who goes to church every Sunday and is supposed to read the Bible and pray every night. My acting experience comes from years of pretending to be a cis-hetero women."

I continue what I'm doing, while also continuing my speech.

"I plan to stay closeted to my family, up until I die and when we all go up to heaven for evaluation of good and bad, I can look God straight in the face and walk backwards into hell."

Clapping, I end my Ted Talk with the iconic ending of a Ted Talk, "Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk."

//

*talking with ranboo bc im a filthy member of the alphabet mafia and i watch him too much* 

Me: "...You know, if you think about it, the internet is a graveyard."

Ranboo: "Huh?"

Me: "Deceased musicians can play for you on request, people who have died are still moving in videos, and abandoned accounts are still existing in threads of text that are empty with little to no exploration." 

Ranboo: "I beg your pardon?"

Me: "Beg."

//

*still talking with ranboo because i think his vibe is cool* 

Me: "Why is it, that I'm in an emotional sound-proof fishbowl when it comes to responsibilities? I know I will fail school if I keep on going like this but my brain doesn't panic about it."

Ranboo: "...You okay man?"

Me: "Yeah I'm vibing."

//

Ranboo: "Theres some stressful things going on in my life that I will not go into on stream so, sorry if I'm not upbeat as usual."

Chat: omg ranboo support ❤️💕💗💞💓💖 

Me: he's pregnant

//

*someone donates* "are you jealous of anyone on the dsmp?"

Me: "The good streamer response would be to say no one, but that would be lying and my mom didn't raise no liar."

"To answer your question, the people I am jealous of on the DSMP are:

Ranboo and Tubbo's platonic marriage. Enough said.

Ranboo, the gender man himself. I think all of you can understand this one.

Technoblade. That mans has so many powerful fanartists, and for what? The mans a fucking minecraft pig in a crown, how did they make him look so pretty in so many different ways?

Dream, because I want to steal his voice, his voice is my dream voice, (no pun intended) literally it's so perfect and even the flaws of his voice just fit so well it makes me want to pull an Ursula and make the DNF Ariel AU come true. 

Karl Jacobs in a black turtleneck. That specific picture of him. Idk why, but it makes me so envious in so many ways. 

Michael. That boy will get fucking spoiled. And I mean spoiled spoiled. He will be the super rich and kind popular dude in school, an absolute fucking angel. You hate him for having rich parents, but you just can't bring yourself to say the words 'I hate you' because he's literally the kindest and cutest boy you will ever meet.

An honorable mention woud be Jack Manifold and Niki Nihachu's Team Rocket dynamic when they were on their villain arc.

Another honorable mention would be Jschlatt, at this point he's my gender icon along with Leorio from HXH."

//

*tubbo, ranboo, and me are in a late night vc because late night streams are chaotic as fuck*

Me: "You know, I don't wanna have children, but the thought of being a milf is so tempting."

Tubbo: "Same. Children are so much work."

Ranboo: "...what?" 

//

haha that's it but these are fun i might do more of these later