Nidra || HEEJAY

CHAPTER 23

Everything was too good until now, just perfect.

But now, Heeseung was overcome with emotions he couldn't interpret. Firstly, there was Jay. Everything about him was just too amazing and new for him.

Secondly, the Nidra, his safe place up till now. He regarded the Nidra as his saviour, yet right in this second, multiple contradicting thoughts came up.

Everything was too much, it was too complex.

It felt as though he was trapped in a cobweb, wrapped in tightening silk threads, each strand piercing through his skin, extremely painful.

This dangerous white silk that an unknown spider was constantly spinning was sure to destroy him. The lustre of the silk he once cherished now blinded him from seeing what was real and what was not.

Silver shine that drew out crimson rain.

The Nidra was to save himself from the punishment for being ordinary, for being weak. It was him changing fate.

But then again, what had this new fate bought him? Was this momentary happiness something even to glad for?

His turbulent run, his frantic breathing, what were they all for?

'I keep asking myself whether this is my dream or not' Heeseung's voice resonated through his head. A single question that brought up many more, as it was asked.

He looked down at his knife, the cold metal shining after being bathed in blood, "Are you really my dream? Are you mine or just another piece of scrap destiny threw at me?"

Who knows, Heeseung?

Who knows that apart from you?

*******

As Sunoo sat speechless on the cold bed, he couldn't help but hope that Ni-ki was never with the Nidra.

Poor Sunoo didn't know that Ni-ki was there with the gang from the beginning.

Ni-ki was with the Nidra when they first murdered a person, was there to get a wave tattooed on his chest. He was in the room when Heeseung walked into the private bar with his hand held by Jay, he sat smiling with his friends long after Heeseung fell into a slumber.

Ever present, ominous.

Sunoo felt him go light in the head, all of this was too much to take. His trust was broken, shattered and was flung at his face, making him bleed.

Indulged in his own thoughts , he gave the other too much time to read the room. In an instant, Ni-ki flew out of the apartment. Sunoo immediately felt his feet move on their own, determined to not lose him. They tumbled down the stairs and ran in the night, the wind pulling their skin.

"NI-KI!" Sunoo called out, "What are you running from?" His voice sounded tired, instantly causing Ni-ki to pause.

True, what was Ni-ki even running from?

It's not like he could outrun the truth nor the guilt. He couldn't completely eradicate the realisation.

He could do nothing but to confront.

Sunoo's steps came weakly to him, as though he couldn't carry himself any longer. He then fell to a bench nearby, which screeched under his weight.

"Sit down, let's just talk." A request to which Ni-ki complied.

The bench screamed again, sounding ghastly in the shivering night, stirring all sort of treacherous feeling in Sunoo's heart.

'I like Ni-ki.' He told himself, 'Maybe love him too.'

He put a hand on his head, hating the fact that he realised he liked someone while uncovering the truth that the particular someone was a traitor.

Ni-ki was just a sweet illusion, a mirage in a dead dessert. He was all lies, a hoax. "How real were you?" Came Sunoo's question, "As much as I could manage." was the reply.

Sunoo turned, his eyes greeting the person next to him. Ni-ki with his sharp jaw and handsome face, turned away, trying not to meet his eyes.

Sunoo was a fool, an oblivious idiot.

"Why couldn't you stay with me?" He asked.

Oh, how he thought that Ni-ki was the golden light he needed in his life, the sugar rush that would always stay. How he foolishly hoped that the other was his sunshine, his brightness.

But he never once realised that just the way darkness can make one completely oblivious, glorious light could also blind one completely.

He didn't realise that until now, didn't know that he was working with his eyes burnt out, the irises ruptured and dead.

He was till now, living in pitch darkness.

And now when a single ray of light managed to squeeze its way through his pupils, he realised that everything he saw was just something Ni-ki painted in the back of his head.

Now that he could see the truth, he could't bare it all.

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