Personal Justice

Admitting

TW!!!!!! Rape, being drugged and child abuse, there's a little more detail in this one, but still nothing graphic. Again be careful ya'll, if you start to get triggered, please just click off! I'm going to start posting some new imagines in the next few weeks that will mostly be lighter hearted than this. (Sorry I just naturally write really dark things.)

Y/N POV: (your brother just pulled you into the office)

I was shaking so much; I can't believe what I just saw. I spent so much time trying to hide my past trauma from everyone in my life that didn't know before I met them. That was all I was known for when I was a kid, I just wanted to go somewhere and have a fresh start. I didn't want to be the girl with the druggie mother, or the girl who was raped as a kid, or the girl with the eating disorder. I just wanted to be Agent Y/L/N, and now that was ruined. I looked at my brother in the eyes, he knew how much Craig hurt me, and he knew our mom was too high to care half the time.

"Leo what am I going to do? I thought I was over this! I finally put him behind bars when I was 15! I didn't even know he was out! I was just living my life! Why does he always get to dictate what happens to me? He's dead and still has control over me." I started to sob uncontrollably, causing my brother to start to tear up too.

"Y/n he doesn't have to control you. You don't need to give him the power again." My brother said looking deep into my eyes with sorrow and trying to hold back tears.

"Leo, what he did to mom and me-"

"Y/n, it's ok, he left, he's even dead now, and he can't hurt you or mom anymore. I promise." Leo interrupted and tried to reassure me.

I saw Emily out of the corner of my eye in the doorway, I couldn't bring myself to look at her, and I was too ashamed. I never told her that, I never really told her about any of my childhood. She tried to get me to talk about it whenever I would ask her about her childhood stories, but I always said I had a boring suburban life with my dad and changed the subject.

I was mad at Craig and myself and my mom and the world, I was too mad and upset to see straight and I just started blurting out the first thoughts that came to my mind. I didn't even care that Emily was hearing this anymore; I just needed to say these things, and I needed my rock there to listen while I ranted.

"Leo it's been years since it happened, I mean one of our teammates has a kid as old as me when it happened! I just can't stop seeing his face right now. That man raped and beat me and ruined me when I was just 11, now I have to find the man that killed him and bring him to justice? I don't- I don't think I can do that. I think I'll just want to thank the man." I admitted to Leo.

"I get it y/n, I really do. That man did terrible things to you; he took away your childhood and your sleep and your peace. He took more than any kid should ever have to deal with. And I won't tell you to just forget that. But you have to look at this like any other victim, okay? I will be there the whole time. And if you want to take the case off I will fully support you. I made a commitment to Hotch, so I will still go, but you can fly down with us and stay with your dad?" Leo tried to comfort me.

"The case is at home?!!?!" I practically screamed.

"Wow you really weren't listening were you," he chuckled, and then saw the worry on my face and looked me straight in the eyes, "y/n, it will be fine. I know you're worried about the team finding out about everything, and it being back at home just makes it worse, but it'll be ok. No one looks down on Emily for everything she did while she was at Interpol or Hotch because he had an abusive dad or JJ because of her sister. Everyone on the team has baggage, them seeing yours will just make you fit in more. It's gonna be ok, I promise." He hugged me and lightly hit my arm while moving next to me, making us both chuckle.