After: a Maxerica Story

Part 13

For the rest of the week, Gwen avoids me. In fact, we haven't exchanged one word since she told me she was going to leave for Britian. It's given Brooke and I more time together, but it just doesn't feel right to me. I thought things were going great between Gwen and me- what changed?

Finally, I've had enough of the cold soldier. Gathering up all of my courage, I walk over to where Gwen stands in the hallway, talking quietly with Amberly. Gwen's back is facing me, but Amberly meets my gaze. Her eyes are warning me, as if to say, She doesn't want to talk to you.

Tell me something I don't know.

When I'm within reaching distance of Gwen, I debate whether to say something or to just touch her shoulder. Her back is still to me, so she must not have heard me come up to her.

I decide on tapping her shoulder. Causing me to flinch, she whips around and catches my wrist before I even touch her.

"G-Gwen," I stammer, my eyes dropping to her grip on my wrist.

Her glare isn't angry, but not entirely happy either. Is it something I did wrong to hurt her?

"Yes?" she asks, her voice hushed.

"Can we, um, talk?" 

She nods, silent. She gives an apologetic glance to Amberly and then walks towards her room. I swallow hard and follow her.

"You know, Gerad, I was trying to help you," she says as soon as the door to her room is closed. "You don't make it easy."

"Gwen, staying away from me isn't helping," I reply. "It's hurting me."

"No, it's not." She looks up at me, her expression firm. "Listen, Gerad. My sister doesn't want to be queen- she never wanted it, and her opinion hasn't changed. I can't send her back to Britain, utterly confused, and without any family."

"What if you parents are still alive at the end of the attacks?"

"They won't be," she whispers, looking down. 

"You never know that." My voice is steady.

"Well, whatever. I can't make her be queen."

"But-" I sigh. "Please Gwen. Please stay."

"Why?" she asks. "Brooke is better for you anyway."

I hold my breath. It's time to tell the truth.

"That night when I took the bullet out of your arm? I don't know how to describe it, but I felt something. I think it was the way you looked at me-"

"You mean with my eyes? Breanne's eyes?"

"No, I-"

"It's all bullshit!" she exclaims, taking me by surprise. "Your mind is playing tricks on you. You think I'm Breanne, just with a different body. Don't try to defend yourself- everything you said about me matches up perfectly with the description Brooke gave me about Breanne. Smart, strong, independent... and all that other crap you said."

"No, please. I-"

"Don't bother. This is why I never fell in love-"

"You loved me?" I whisper, not believing my ears.

"Loved." She clears her throat. "You see, Gerad, love is a weakness. It leaves you utterly defenseless against whoever has you tricked. You trick yourself into thinking that they actually love you and eventually you're left depressed and weak and it was all lies anyway."

"Gwen, it's not all lies!" I cry, begging for her to listen.

"Yeah?" she counters, raising her voice. I wince against her power. "Tell me one thing that's different between Breanne and I."