After: a Maxerica Story

Part 6

Ready for some drama? As usual, I've been away for a while... now time to stir things up. Be prepared. Maybe grab some tissues? ;) 

READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH OR YOU WON'T GET TO THE DRAMA !!!!

We are still on Amberly's Selection!! I missed writing so much, I hope this chapter makes up for my absence. (I know I say that every time. Are you really surprised anymore?)

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Five months later.

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Dear mother,

Things are going well at the palace. I miss you like crazy. I can't wait for you to return for the New Year... we are going to celebrate more than any other year. I'll be engaged to a suitor by then, and our family will be together in the first time in forever.

Here are some updates in my selection over the past five months, since you asked.

There was a fight between a couple of the suitors. I was caught in the crossfire, but though that punch hurt at the time, it actually turned out to be something great.

That "great thing" is named Xander. I think I love him, Mom. Many of the other suitors are nice, but I don't feel the same with them the way I feel with Xander. There's just something about him- I can't explain it. Everyone else likes him, too. He saved my life in a rebel attack, actually. God, Mom, I have to tell you about him when you get back.

Here's the problem. I can't choose him. He has this heart condition that makes him weak and could, I guess, potentially kill him. And I know it wouldn't be wise to choose a king who could die at any time. That breaks my heart, but I guess I have to choose someone else for the sake of my country. Right?

Anyway, I've been on dates with all of the other suitors. Some of them obviously won't be going any further in the selection process, but a few of them would make good kings. And good husbands, I suppose. I think I could see myself loving them eventually. 

I actually connect well with Nathaniel Holmes. He was my favorite before I fell for Xander, actually. He would make an excellent king. And Grayson Vogel- we've had so many laughs together this past half a year. 

That's basically it. I can't wait to see you, Gerad, Gwen, Logan, Ashlyn, and the twins! Counting down the seconds.

Love,
Amberly 

I put down my pen in despair. So many people have been missing from my life throughout this entire selection. I've gotten used to the awkward silences where Logan or Gerad would make a joke, the calmness where Gwen's twins would create chaos, the lack of late-night talks that my mom and I would have. 

But that doesn't mean I like it.

And on top of it all, the man I might possibly love could die at any moment. I've been trying to distance myself from him, as my father suggested I do, but it's been too hard for me. We sneak around after-hours, talking about life and random things that just make sense with him. 

Deep down, I think he knows that I can't pick him. Maybe we both know it and we're just choosing to pretend that's not how it has to be. 

Either way, his heart condition is getting worse. Since the rebel attack, he's been extra strained; seeing the doctor more, socializing with the other suitors less... living his life less. He told me not to worry, but can he really expect me not to?

"Life goes on," he said to me once. "Shit happens. No one said it's fair, but it happens. And this is happening to me. But no matter what happens, life goes on."