You jumped up from the swing, startled by the sound of Akaashi saying your name. He noticed the paper you were clutching, and the sullen look on your face.
Akaashi carefully took a few steps towards you.
"Y/n," He repeated. He wasn't sure where to start. He wanted to apologize for Hayami, and to apologize for what you thought happened between them. He wanted to tell you how it feels as though he has been waiting forever for this moment to meet you. He wanted to tell you that you were more beautiful than he imagined.
But he was unable to say any of those things. As he approached you, he started to notice the redness under your eyes, and tear stained cheeks.
This wasn't what he wanted. This isn't how he wanted to meet you for the first time.
"This is a nice letter," You tried smiling, halting Akaashi from getting any closer, "I just wish the Akaashi I knew from these letters was the one standing in front of me."
"Y/n -" Why couldn't he say anything?
"I thought you'd be different. But I guess this is what happens when you have expectations of someone you never met before."
Akaashi stood there defeated. You had every right to say what she was saying to him. He acted out of pettiness. Despite what really happened back at the party, Akaashi knew his intentions were wrong. He wanted to explain himself, but he felt like every word would come out like an excuse.
Your eyes dropped from his and down at the letter.
"You missed me?" By the tone of your voice, you questioned how true that was.
"Y/n -" But he was cut off. It was like he watched the tiny thread you were hanging on, snap.
"Stop saying my name, and say something. Say anything that will make this better." You pleaded in frustration.
"I missed you." Was all Akaashi could muster out.
"I can read," Your arms were crossed, and you were now looking at the ground in front of him.
He tried taking a step closer.
"Don't," You said putting her hand up. You finally looked back up at Akaashi, "I shouldn't have written you."
Akaashi felt a stabbing pain in his chest. He wanted you to take that back.
"I don't feel the same way, I was happy to hear from you." He tried to smile to ease the tension, but you flinched, trying your best not to look at him.
There was an uneasy silence. He wanted to say more, but his words were being hindered by only one thought.
"Are you - are you and Kenma -"
Akaashi wasn't prepared for your reaction. The thought had been eating at him, and he couldn't stop himself from finding out the truth.
"Unbelievable." The letter started to crumple in your palm. You stormed off toward the empty street.
Reflexively, Akaashi caught up and reached out for your wrist, trying his best to stop you from leaving. But you jerked your hand back.
"Me and Kenma?!" Akaashi could tell your eyes were glossy under the street light. He took a step back. He knew he had made a mistake even mentioning Kenma's name, he just didn't realize how badly.
"I didn't - "
"If you really want to know, we're just friends. If you thought something was going on, that doesn't justify taking that girl into a closet after writing me this ," You held up the wrinkled piece of paper, "You want to be with me? It sure looks that way."
The sarcasm in your voice sent another sharp pain through his chest.
"I made a mistake." You stood only a couple of feet away from him. You let out a heavy sigh, your shoulders settled.
Akaashi tried to get close to you again. He was relieved you didn't try to escape him this time.
His hands cupped the sides of you face, bringing you to look up at him. He took in every detail of you. He wished things had played out differently. He wasn't as happy as he hoped he would be the first time he was able to touch you.
"Akaashi," Your voice was soft, "I shouldn't have let you go the first time, but maybe ..."
Your fingers curled around his wrists, and you kept them there for a moment. As you gently brought his hands down from your face, Akaashi's sliver of happiness slowly dim.
"Maybe it was for the best."
Akaashi couldn't move. He stayed frozen under the street light as he watched you fade into the dark.
