𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫. // 𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

12

𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝔂 // 𝓬𝓪𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓾

A few months had gone by since Kuroo's party. That night played on loop in your mind. You regretted some of the things you said to him that night. Your emotions took over, and maybe the alcohol; and part of you felt like you overreacted.

He was there in front of you, and you pushed him away.

You weren't sure what the right thing to do was at this point.

And it didn't help that you were getting a letter from Akaashi at least once a week that you kept shoving in a draw. 

You only had a few days until the beginning of your third year, and you were currently waiting on Kenma to bring you to meet up with Kuroo for the meteor shower.

You heard the click from the front door and Kenma let himself in, holding a letter from your mailbox. As you went to take it from his hand, he hesitated before letting go.

"Open them, Y/n." His voice was serious.

You looked up at Kenma. A small part of you was shocked that he wanted you to read the letters from Akaashi. He barely said anything when you told him what happened between the two of you.

"You're keeping them for a reason," He continued.

You weren't completely aware of it, but he was right. Each one could have found it's way to the trash rather than buried in a draw.

"Kenma, please." You went to grab your jacket from the entryway.

"Y/n, there's something you don't know about that night." Kenma looked uncomfortable. His hands were shoved in his pockets, and he could barely look up at you.

You slowly put your arm in each sleeve, waiting for Kenma to continue. 

"Akaashi was looking for you the moment he got there. I told him I didn't know where you were. If I hadn't been selfish, maybe he would've been there to tell Hayami off, and he wouldn't have seen us together." Kenma's voice trailed off at the end, evidently ashamed.

"What are you talking about?" You weren't sure what Kenma was trying to get at, "Nothing happened between us." 

You knew Akaashi questioned the relationship between you and Kenma that night, unsure why was even brought up in the first place.

"He heard me call you beautiful. He saw how close I was to you." Kenma still unable keep eye contact with you, "I knew he saw us."

You remembered the moment you looked up at Kenma, lips inches away from each other. The thought had flickered across your mind, that if you had saw Kenma differently, then maybe ...

"If anything that just makes it worse. He did the dare with Hayami because he was jealous?" You were frustrated.

"He didn't do anything. After Akaashi went after you, Hayami said a flip switched in him or something, and he told her off."

You wanted to be mad at Kenma. He knew things didn't end well with Akaashi ever since that night, and if he cared about your feelings, then why was he withholding all this?

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Just the thought of you and him together ..." 

You collected the letters from Akaashi out of the draw, and locked yourself in the bathroom before Kenma could finish his apology.

You ripped open the first one he sent to you.

Y/n,

I'm sorry. I can't say it enough. I shouldn't have brought up Kenma. He explained there was nothing going on between you two. But that doesn't excuse how I reacted. 

I wanted you to know that there is nothing going on between Hayami and I. I did end things with her because of you, but only because I didn't want anything to stop me from being with you.

You quickly opened up the next one.

Y/n,

You were really beautiful that night, despite how upset you were.

I always had a picture in my mind, but it didn't come close to the real thing.

The next one.

Y/n,

I know you probably won't write back at this point, and I understand. But I let you go once, and I'm not ready to do it again.  

You tore through each letter, reading every apology and confession that Akaashi wanted to tell you that night.

It felt like all the air had been sucked from your lungs. The letters were strewn about the bathroom floor. Your back slid against the tile until your sat among the mess.

You shoved him in a draw for months, unable to forgive him. Now you sat on the cold tile, cursing at yourself for being so stubborn.

You needed to see him.