If We Had Survived... (Enjoltaire)

Chapter Ten

The blood pounded in Enjolras' ears, his heart thudded, growing at least a hundred times quicker than before. His hands shook violently and his vision disfigured as if he were looking through a fish-eye lens. He had to get away. He couldn't stay anymore. Couldn't bear the thought that Grantaire could die. He couldn't look at the almost peaceful expression on the man's face. Run, and he could do something stupid. Stay, and he'd have to suffer from Grantaire's pain.

And then Grantaire's eyes had gone all glazed and unseeing and he had started writhing in pain and all Enjolras could do was hold his hand and pray for it to end. And then Grantaire had choked out some words that took forever to register in Enjolras' brain, and when they did, it was too late to respond. And still, he whispered back, "I love you too," before letting out a well-deserved scream and threw his arms around Grantaire.

Someone came in and tried to pull Enjolras away from Grantaire, but Enjolras swatted the hands away, sobs racking deep in his throat. "No, no, R, help me, wake up,"

More footsteps could be heard from behind him. "Enjolras, we can't help R if you don't let us," Marius said, gently pulling the sobbing blondie away. Right now Enjolras didn't even mind the fact that Marius had placed Enjolras in his lap and was gently stroking his hair. And so Enjolras wept until his eyes had gone dry until his head throbbed as if someone had used a rock to split his skull. He wanted to be angry, or numb, anything but depressed and grieved. He wanted to curse and scream and get a hold of himself, yet his throat was as dry as sandpaper. He wanted to be angry, he wanted to feel rage. He wanted to be himself again. He wanted to be the angry righteous man he used to be. But he just couldn't.

It was dark by the time he had composed himself and removed himself from Marius' embrace. Marius looked exhausted, his eyes were wet too. "E, you need to get some sleep. Cosette wouldn't mind if you stayed with us,"

"Thank you Marius, but I would prefer to stay here," Enjolras replied, removing himself from the floor.

Marius got up too, to leave, but not before looking behind him to tell Enjolras, "Be careful,"

The first thing Enjolras did was to make sure he wasn't being careful. He tore the curtain that separated his and Grantaire's cots, carelessly, pushed his one closer to Grantaire's, and hummed to himself, laying down his hand in Grantaire's.

A terrifying question loomed in the air. 

What if Grantaire wasn't going to get better?