Raven and Beast boy

Chapter 6

 Episode 40 (Raven)

Since Cyborg it's back, I have more time to myself. Beast Boy is not interrupting my reading and meditation, so I feel more peaceful, yet it is like something it's missing, I got so used to him bothering me that I think I miss it.

I am on the middle of a great book when I feel someone is standing outside my door. It is an intense aura, so it has to be Starfire, I don't know how she does it, her emotions are always the strongest in the room, even when they are not happy feelings, yet she has good control over them, she channels them to summon her powers, it's amazing.

"Raven?" I hear her from behind the door.

"Yes, Starfire".

"We all are going to the mall; would you like to join us?" she asks from behind the door.

Usually I do not care about going to the mall, but there are some things that I need. So, I decide to go.

After 30 minutes I already got everything that I needed. I'm sitting on a bench in the food court next to Beast Boy, who already spent all his money.

"So, how are you?" I ask trying to be nice.

"I'm great! I got the best videogame ever, Monkey King, IT'S AMAZING, people say it's even better than the last one. When we get home, I can let you play" he says very excited, while gesticulating with all of his body.

"Well, that is great"

"You know, your cape fits me perfectly, you could lend it to me for Halloween" he says jokingly

"My cape is no costume" I say a little bit angry.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I always say the wrong thing, don't I?" he says as his ears gets down.

"It's okay, really" I say.

"Hey, I think Star and the guys still need like half an hour, do you want to go to the arcade?"

"Hmm. Okay" I hate the loud noises, but the games are pretty great.

We start playing Street Fighter which he is so sure he is going to win, but he doesn't know how much Starfire loves this game, so I have had a lot of practice. I let him get some advantage at first just so it will be more fun at the end. When I start playing for real, I can feel him get nervous. I end up winning and I could not stop grinning at him, while he was looking right into my eyes with a perplexed face.

"Wow" he finally says. "When did you start playing this? Some boyfriend I should know about?" he asked, which makes me angry, only a boy could have shown me? I think my expression gives it away because he adds "Or girlfriend whatevs".

"More like the second one, tall, redhead, green eyes, I think you know her" I say and smirk at him.

"If you are into green eyes, you know who else have green eyes?" he asks raising his brows and smiling at me.

"Hmm, Cat woman?" I say trying to tease him.

"Yeah, I guess she does too, but I mean someone really cute" He says putting his arm around my neck.

"I think I do know someone cute with big green eyes" I say looking at him trying to make him nervous. I can feel him getting flustered at first, but it goes to strong affection and then... He starts to feel uncomfortable.

He knows I can feel what he is feeling... I feel bad, he should not have to be uncomfortable for something he cannot control. Feelings are private and should stay that way.

"Let's get out of here" I say, I need to think for a second and it is too much noise in here. We go to a park next to the mall and sit on a bench.

"You know how my powers work?" I say trying not to make it worst.

"Mmm, I, which ones?" he asks.

"I only can sense some emotions, humans are complex, I can't tell what those emotions mean, not always anyways" I say trying to make things better. And it is true, affection can mean so many things that don't need to be romantic love, it can just be friendship...

"Good to know for the future, but you are saying that because you have been sensing my emotions, didn't you?" he says looking at his shoes.

"Best boy..." I try to say something else, but he gets so close I lose track of things. He's just 2 inches apart and he is looking into my eyes. I can feel my whole face go red, but I hope he doesn't notice. My head is spinning, he's getting closer, I can feel his warmth, he is about to kiss me when we hear a scream.

There is a black tornado around us, one that I am summoning, I have lost complete control over myself, I can't reach my powers, this, all of this is my fault, what am I doing? What if I can stop this. I am spiraling out of control when I feel Beast boy's hands taking mine.

"Hey, I'm sorry, everything it's fine, I'm here" he says, and I start to calm down. I finally start to get control again. After getting in control again I realize this cannot happen again, what was I thinking, I cannot do this, none of this.

"This can't happen again I'm sorry" I say as I get up. I fly as fast as I can. I feel bad for him, he is just sitting there with his ears down just looking at me while I get away.

When I get to my room, I shoot the door and I feel my knees go weak, so I sit on the floor, and without realizing it I start crying. I sometimes hate this; I sometimes just wish I can be... Normal. I try to gather myself; my face is so hot I lean on the door because it's cold.