Murders Of The Past

FOUR

THE FOUR OF them erupt into laughter while I continue to swirl my soup around in my bowl. I'm not even hungry, yet we still have salad and breadsticks to eat, and I ordered Shrimp Scampi and they all already agreed to ordering a Chocolate Brownie Lasagna! Good thing there are seven other people here.

I feel something warm touch my knee so I look down, finding a man's hand resting on my leg. On that hand's ring finger is a black ring with tiny red diamonds that form a circle. The ring is identical to mine, which is also black but has leaves engraved into the top around the red diamond.

"You okay?" I nod my head, not looking at him as I continue stirring my soup. "Do you not like the soup?"

"I love it." I lift my head from my hand. "I almost love it more than you." I scoop the soup into my mouth. "Mmm, delicious." I give Carlos a smile which he returns.

"Really? Because you've been staring at it for the past ten minutes."

"Ten minutes?" I sit up straighter and look around. "Where the hell is my Shrimp Scampi?"

"You didn't order Shrimp Scampi." I look back at Carlos.

"I didn't? Then what did I order?"

"Just soup and salad." I shake my head.

"I swear I ordered Shrimp Scampi." I reach for my glass of wine and bring it to my lips.

"It's not too late to order that." I shake my head.

"I'm not even hungry." I frown as I realize I took the last sip of my wine. "But I could use some more of this."

"Don't you think you've had enough of that stuff?" I scoff, looking at him.

"Carlos," I start in a stern voice. "Never. Ever. Come between a girl and her wine." Carlos sighs irritated.

"Did you have to buy the most expensive wine on the menu?"

"Relax, I'll pay for it." I frown, setting the glass down and going back to stirring my soup. What did I just tell him? Never get between a girl and her wine.

"All I was doing was making a sandwich, and all of a sudden I'm on the floor having a heart attack!" Dad exclaims, getting the adults to laugh.

"What kind of Sandwich?" Sam asks.

"I honestly couldn't tell you." They laugh again. "I don't even remember what I ordered!"

"Apparently Sadie doesn't remember what she ordered either," Carlos tries to get us included into this conversation. Why are we making jokes about my father having a heart attack? What is funny about that?

"I do remember!" I testify.

"Is she going to have a heart attack next?" Sam asks. I feel my eyebrows sink in as my chin tilts downward and I glare.

"Ha ha ha!" I drop my spoon into my soup before rising from my seat and storming away from the table. I go into the bathroom and walk over to the mirror, turning the sink on and holding my hands beneath it.

"Having a heart attack while making a sandwich," I grumble to myself. "What kind of sandwich? Oh I don't remember," I ramble on in a deep voice. "Lol, that is so fucking funny!" I slam my hands down on the counter and lock eyes with the ones in my reflection. I turn the sink off and stare at myself. Just staring and staring until finally I let out a whimper. I look down from myself and sniffle, shaking my head.

I almost lost him! The man I never thought could die almost died!

"Sadie, are you in here?" I tense and look up, watching Julie walk in from the mirror. She looks at me and rushes over to me. "Sadie? What's wrong?" I shake my head, wiping my eyes.

"Dad. He had a heart attack." I push off the sink and go to the paper towels, taking one and drying my hands.

"But he's okay now."

"Is he?"

"Yes. He's out there laughing and having fun." Julie tilts her head to the side. "Why aren't you out there having fun?"

"How am I supposed to have fun when my dad almost died today?"

"Sadie, he's okay. That's what matters." I shake my head. "Sadie," Julie coos, "he's getting older. It's normal."

"It is not normal, Julie." I shake my head. "It is not normal to see my father hooked up to a heart monitor. It is not normal to get a phone call from a doctor telling me my dad had a heart attack. It is not normal to realize the truth."

"What truth?"

"That my dad isn't Superman."

"What?" She shakes her head confused.

"He's not invincible... He could- he could die any moment."

"Well of course he could. And so can you and so can I. It's part of life."

"You don't understand."

"Yes I do. He's my dad too. I'm just as scared as you are- "

"Then why are you laughing?" I snap.

"I'm not laughing."

"You were. You were laughing at his jokes." Julie blinks at me.

"I was enjoying the time I did have with him." Tears brim my eyes.

"Don't say that," I mutter.

"Sadie, it's life. You have to face it."

"But he's my dad!"

"He's my dad too!"

"But he's more important to me than you! He's the only real family I have left!" I scream. Julie stares at me before taking a step back.

"What about me?" I sigh. "What about Carlos? What about your kids?"

"You know what I mean."

"Do I?" I look away from her brown eyes.

"After Mom died, Dad was all I had left..."

"Right. But things have changed now, Sadie. And things are continuing to change."

"I can see that," I growl.

"Right out there," she points at the door, "There are a bunch of people who love you, who would do anything for you, and you're only focusing on one person. And if you're going to only acknowledge that one person, at least look on the bright side. He's still here!" Julie walks past me and out of the bathroom, leaving me alone.