Murders Of The Past

THIRTY-TWO

THE CAR SLOWS and comes to a stop in front a large two-story, white house. I turn my head, shutting my eyes and letting out a breath. It feels like it's been months since I was last here, when really it's only been two weeks.

  "We're here," Sam announces from the drivers seat and I can't help but roll my eyes. No shit we're here. I take a deep breath. Calm down, Sadie. Don't be angry, don't be angry. It will just make everything worse.

  "Are you getting out?" Julie asks as she opens her door.

  "Do I have a choice?"

  "No." I look to my right and see that Carlos has opened my door and is now waiting for me.

  "I can open my door myself," I mutter. He stares at me. "Let me open it myself." I grab the door handle and Carlos steps back, hands up in surrender as I pull it shut. Then I quickly unbuckle and crawl to the front of the car, plopping down in the seat clumsily and grabbing the wheel. Then I realize.

  "Damnit!" I slap the wheel right as the door opens.

  "Come on, Sadie." I glare at Sam.

  "Give me the keys." I hold my hand out, but he just looks at my hand and back to me.

  "You already got the hard part out of the way." I sigh, leaning back in the seat and turning my head to look at the house. But this part is hard too.

  Sam sighs. "Babe, get your crazy sister out of my car." I laugh, whipping my head around to show Sam my wicked smile.

  "Oh, you have no idea how crazy I am!"

  "Oh, I have an idea." He nods, walking around the car and up the driveway, past another car that I don't remember being there last time. Who's car is that? Is that my dad's? Oh great, so he's here too. Everybody's here to see Sadie, yay. I sigh again, leaning back in the seat and looking at the ceiling.

  "Sadie, what's wrong?" I close my eyes, holding the steering wheel. The stupid steering wheel that wont do anything because I don't have the stupid keys!

  "Everything."

  "Right now, what's wrong?" I turn my head away from her, growling and closing my eyes. "Just tell me and maybe-- "

  "I don't want to go inside because I feel awful and I'm going to see everyone and they're going to say I'm a terrible person and that I need serious help and I just don't want to hear it right now," I breath out. "Or ever," I add. I turn my head to the left and look at Julie who seems to be thinking.

  "No one's going to say you're a terrible person."

  "They're going to think it."

  "No they're not. Look, we all know that you've had a stressful few weeks and you didn't mean to cause trouble."

  That's not true. I love trouble more than I love wine. I roll my eyes. I don't even love wine anymore. I don't even want wine. I guess it took my husband and baby almost dying to make me realize wine isn't that amazing. I tense. My baby and my husband. My kids. My family. They're all in that house. I turn to Julie again.

  "This is your chance to fix it. You made a mistake, but right now the universe is giving you the chance to fix what you messed up. So go in there, apologize, and listen to them. Tear down your walls."

  I blink at her, smiling. She's right. This is my second chance, I can't blow it.

  "You're so wise." I place my hand on her shoulder.

  "Well, I did technically raise myself so..." I give her a tight smile. "And speaking of raising people..." She looks down and I raise a brow.

  "What?" She hesitates before shaking her head.