Hated Ties (Book 3. Ties)

17. Wishes

The call is going through. With every ring, my heart accelerates.

"How's it going, my man," Jessie's voice booms from the speaker.

"Good. Just calling to check if the results are in. Mackenzie is dying to know. She's here right now." Levi is smirking at me. 

Both him and Jessie chuckle. "Oh yeah, I bet she can't wait to find out. Give me a sec." He puts us on hold.

We are sitting at the breakfast table. My dad went to breakfast with Nicole, so we have the house to ourselves.

Jessie comes back to the phone. "I'm back. Okay, let's see. Blah blah blah... It says here that Mackenzie is definitely pregnant. Congratulations, my man. You did it!"

"Dammit!" I angrily stare at Levi.

"Thank you so much, Jessie! I owe you! I'll talk to you later," Levi says before ending the call. All his teeth are on display. "Wishes do come true," he says in a singsong voice.

I can't believe it even though there was no doubt in my mind. This shouldn't be happening right now and that's my problem. We've only been back together for three months, and I've been pregnant almost the whole time. The only thing that makes it worse is that I've known the whole time, but I just ignored it. I was kind of hoping it wouldn't stay.

I feel horrible hoping for something like that. But, I truly don't want a baby right now. Even with all my hesitation, I finally decided to let Levi run a test at the hospital. It's not like there was much choice. He's been asking "are you pregnant?" for months, daily. The lack of menstrual periods gave it right away, but I have been keeping that information to myself. What was the point of telling Levi I suspected— that I knew I was pregnant when I was just waiting to see it go?

"Who are you, right now," I ask him, since he's still singing and repeating the news. "You sound like a Disney princess thanking her fairy godmother." God he's over the moon, and I'm a stark, stark contrast.

He grabs both sides of my face, and looks into my eyes with intensity. "You are having my baby." He places his forehead on mine. "I thought we were never going to meet again, and now... You," he moves his head back, so he can look into my eyes again, "Mackenzie Mars, are giving me a child." His eyes are shining with emotion. It's a joy so pure that it's making my heart clench.

He pulls me into a hug. His face goes into the crook of my neck, and I inhale his scent. "Thank you," he whispers. Those words just dissolve me. Months of self hatred for allowing myself to get pregnant pass, and now I just feel loved. I never thought I would be here either.

I was physically alive and dead on the inside after Declan. In actuality, I was almost completely dead after I was pushed to my limit during that time. But, here I am. Not only completely alive, but with an extra life depending on me.

Shit, I whisper inwardly. We are such minuscule beings watched over by pure power and control. The power that will break you down. This entity of power will let you fall and cripple to your darkest self, and redeem you to the utmost joy and justice. I believe in a god; I've been forced to in the most despicable and beautiful ways. He gives and takes everything away just as fast as we forget His existence.

I've been fighting God my whole life because I haven't been happy a lot, but I won't fight the truth about God or this child any longer.

I relax in Levi's arms and hug back.

There's nothing I can do or control. I love Levi and I'll love his child. I will protect them both from everyone, including myself.

"I told you that you had severe baby fever," I mutter.

"And I agreed," is his response.

I remember all over again where I am and where I've been throughout my life. "I can't believe I'm with you again, and had sex with you." I move my head in denial. "And you love me and I'm happy..." I stare back at him in awe. "I can't believe I'm having your baby."

He grabs my chin and smiles. "Well believe it because you weren't having any other man's baby."

I laugh and slap his chest.