Hated Ties (Book 3. Ties)

12. His Body

The cold that had remained in me left. It. Just. Left. With every kiss, I am warmer and warmer. I release his lips and move to his neck. Memories flood back, but they are all good. I have been here before. Kissing his neck makes my stomach flutter. I can't stop myself anymore, so I pull his shirt up. And, he finishes taking it off.

I stare at him with lust and love. His gaze is as heavy as mine, so I know we won't stop anymore. So much is out in the open now. I get up from the floor and lift my own shirt. He follows me and rises to his feet. Then, he places his hands on my waist. They are so warm that it makes everything better. I pull him closer to me by tugging on his pants' waistband. We kiss again at a steady pace. There is no rush with any movement.

Slowly, I unbutton his pants. I then, cautiously, move my hand inside his pants. His mouth opens more against mine as my hand makes contact with his boxer briefs. I feel an almost immediate difference against my hand. "Take off your pants," I instruct softly an inch from his lips.

It almost looks like he stopped breathing for a second, but he does not pause for long. He removes them like I said. Now, he looks expectant and it confuses me.

"Do you want me," I ask.

His eyes don't waver at all as he speaks. The word that leaves his lips is nothing but a whisper. "Yes," he says.

There is no further invitation needed. I take off my pants and tell him to lie down on the bed. Some pills fall to the floor and the rest are all around, forgotten. I get on the bed and pull down his boxers. Then, I move to sit astride his hips. Moving and kissing his lips over and over again.

Suddenly, he grabs my arms, sits up, and we are face to face. "I've never..." He clears his throat but says nothing more.

I scowl. "You've never what, Levi?"

"Had sex."

I can't hide my shock. "Are you serious?"

He's uncomfortable. His eyes aren't looking straight at me and there's a crease between his eyebrows. "Yeah."

With one hand, I force his face to turn towards me. "I'm not trying to embarrass you." I stare into his perfect blue eyes. "I just can't believe no one would try to get with you. I mean... You're even more good looking now than when we met."

A small smile emerges and he says, "rude."

I chuckle. "It's the truth. Would you rather I say you got ugly?"

He rolls his eyes. "No."

"So... Why didn't you ever do it?"

He sighs. "I never could get myself to go through with it. I couldn't forget what you felt like." He caresses my arm for emphasis. "We never... But the other things we did together have popped up any time I tried getting close to someone. I've always wanted you."

I knew he had believed I was never going to return to him, but his body did. At least, that is what I felt. Honestly, I myself never thought I'd be here with Levi. I know virginity is something that people consider overrated, but after what I've been through, to have the opportunity to share this with Levi... I've been touched in unwanted and filthy ways, and I get to revel in someone's body who was saved for me. There is some divine perfection in that, and I don't know how to put it into words.

"I'm sorry, Levi. I am so sorry I tried to kill this feeling, and pushed you away. I was never able to forget you. You're the only one I've ever been in love with."

He kisses me and I kiss him. Levi inside me; Levi around me. It feels right. He is a good thing to want.

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