Hated Ties (Book 3. Ties)

10. Here I Am

Like promised, Robin is back, since it is the end of the month. We are alone at Mike's house. Edward is at the hospital and Mike at his parents' house. Robin is sitting on the couch holding my feet while I am laying down watching the movie. I am in complete peace. Nothing lasts though. I know that.

The doorbell is ringing nonstop. Robin and I get up to go see who is ringing the doorbell like that. We hear bickering outside the door. As Robin opens the door, we see Nicole barely getting to the front door. It seems to be like Christopher is the one responsible for the incessant doorbell ringing. "Auntie Kenzie!" My nephew pushes past Robin to hug me.

"Christopher! Don't push people; that's rude."

"It's okay," Robin says.

Nicole smiles at my favorite human. "I know you don't mind, but I have to teach him that you're supposed to say 'hello' to everyone and not push people."

"I'm sorry, mommy," he says in his childish voice.

"Have you said 'hello?'" Her face has the same expectant look. I would have fallen right for Christopher's puppy eyes; I guess they don't work on Nicole anymore. She knows better.

"Hello, sir." Christopher looked up at Robin.

Robin, being a person who loves kids, gets down to Christopher's level. "You can call me Robin. You know, like the bird?"

The little boy scowls. "What does the bird look like?

"Come inside and we can look it up on the tablet."

His eyes light up when Robin says that. Technology is the new innovative toy for kids apparently.

Nicole and I move in after Robin and Christopher. We sit on the couch as the boys go to the tablet. Emily moves from her mother's lap to sit on my lap, since the remote is by me. Kids do like to play with things they are not supposed to, don't they?

"I'm ready to talk about it... again," Nicole says calmly.

I stare at her. I'm expecting more to come, but she says nothing else. "What do you want to talk about specifically," I probe.

"We didn't get to talk much the other day because Levi went over and Christopher... Well he was a mess." I smile remembering Christopher covered in mud with an innocent look on his face. "But, I'll start off by saying that I know I am intrusive. I can't help it though; that's just who I am." She laughs, and I chuckle because it's the truth. "I want to know more. I feel like you've kept so much from me. It's like I only know a little slice of you."

"I don't even know what to tell you, Nicole." My head shakes. Where do I begin? There's only so much I want to reveal. "I'll be general... The males who have been closest in my life have been bad to me. During different times in my life, I have cried... so much because of them. It's been Johnathan, it's been Dad, and more recently, a man I dated."

For a minute, I recognize myself. I can see where I end and where I begin. I can't begin to describe what it feels like to be honest for once in what feels like an eternity of pure hell. My body has been vacant of my soul, and right now it's as if I could see my soul walking towards my body. It's me watching me. Am I going to let my soul back in?

"I thought your brother and you were really close," Nicole drifts off in question.

"We were at one point until I realized he was a terrible person. I don't want to go into detail about that, but just trust me. I'm glad he's gone, and I know that sounds horrible." I can smell my soul inches from me, but I'm not sure I want it.

She reaches her hand towards me to grab my hand. I don't flinch, but I do hold my breath. That's progress for me. Slow progress, but I have improved. "I'm sorry, Kenzie. I wish I could take the..."