Star Crossed

Talk about awkward

The Next Morning

There was no sunlight to greet me, but I felt warm and peaceful. I wondered if I was dreaming of my home planet. From our house in Tion, I often heard the lull of waves carried by the eastern winds, felt the wetness surrounding me, tasted the salt in the air. Eadu had nothing of it all; I always woke up feeling cold on this blasted moon. But not today.

Today, I snuggled further into the blankets, trying to recall fugitive dreams. I had slept like a log, claiming back the much-needed rest lost those three past months. Warmth seeped in my back, soft and ... moving? My eyes flew open, realising I was naked, cupped by a massive body that enclosed me.

Galen!

Rouge crept up my cheeks as I finally remembered. Oh ... ... ... Oh! By the Force, and all the Gods of the galaxy! I had slept with Galen Erso, eminent scientist. Tore his uniform off, and allowed him to see me naked ... to touch me and...

To say I had overstepped any boundaries was an understatement. How awkward would it be, afterwards? Although everyone thought we slept together already, I had never dared touching him like this. It would have been a betrayal, for I alone still supported him in his grief over Lyra. The others had forgotten, but not I. As Galen's true friend, I held that torch for him to latch on whenever he needed it.

Flustered, I tried to relax. My mind was in such turmoil – already running a mile an hour – but my body felt strangely at ease. The contact of that warm, encasing body caused my heart to flutter; was it me, or did my skin hum at his contact? Like twin crystals whose other half grew close, we were at peace. Flashes of last night visited my memory, and I couldn't help but gasp.

No one had ever held my hand like this while... Mind lost in the stars, and body in mine, Galen had worshipped me. He'd behaved like a man made of flesh, rather than his usual "mind trapped in a body" self. Was it even real? I could still feel those fingers, sliding up my wrist, enclosing my palm. The strange softness of his hands, the full contact of his silhouette over me.

I had not seen much of him in the dim light, lost to my fear ... consumed by relief. But what I felt, right now, against me, gave me enough insight on how well he was built. To be honest, his uniform didn't hide the fact that he kept in good shape. Still... I felt like a creep, wondering about that man's body.

Galen had been a mentor, a friend, and that unattainable genius in love with another. A widow, with his child to care for. Never, in my mind, had he registered as a potential lover. And when our ploy worked so well, rumours running about how he banged me in my quarters, I never felt endangered. Because, like Krennic, I thought he only saw me as another daughter figure. And he showed me respect. Respect I returned tenfold ... until I pulled him in my bed, taking advantage of his shaken state.

Damn, it was even worse than I thought. I only prayed he would forgive me ... and so would Lyra who probably watched him from up there.

Anxiety rising, I stirred and slipped from under his arm; the fresher welcomed me with cold water, and I grabbed a pair of underwear. Door closed, I sighed deeply, watching my face in the polished surface. The dark circles were still here, but my face looked ... relaxed, somehow. Probably because I had, at last, been able to rest.

A slight noise from the room told me my flight had awaken my companion. Would I dare face him now? Ever? Well, let it not be said that Elya was a coward. If I wanted to keep his respect, I would apologise and deal with it like an adult.

The door whooshed open before I could unlock it, startling me. I released a pitiful squeak, especially when my eyes landed upon a bare-chested Dr Erso. Suddenly, I didn't feel so courageous anymore ... but damn, that body was worth taking a peek. And he probably needed to use the fresher.

"All yours," I smiled, ready to hop away and flee to the confines of the galaxy.

A hand gripped my forearm with enough force to stop me dead in my tracks. My knees wobbled as I found myself standing in my underwear in front of a straight out-of-bed scientist. Straight out of MY bed.

"Morning," he grumbled, the usual silk of his voice much rougher.

His eyes bore holes into me, as if he didn't know how to handle this new development. Given his issues when dealing with the simplest interaction in his human team... There it was, the embarrassment. So, before he could reject me altogether, or tell me he didn't mean anything by it, I blurted out:

"I'm sorry I jumped on you... It doesn't have to change anything, right?"

His eyes opened wide – surprised. He stood so close that I could feel his heat radiating from his half-naked frame. Was it wrong to long to put my cheek over his collarbone, and close my eyes once more? This night had brought me peace...

"I'm not," he stated.

And there wasn't the simplest spark of doubt in his words. This was a statement, plain as day, just as true as the alpha parameter varied with pressure. My eyebrows shot up, unguarded, as I tried to gather what he meant. Who was laughing at the other's people's skills now; uh?

"What ... what do you mean?", I stammered nervously.

Galen's hand upon my arm felt like a hot spot, warm and reassuring. Firm. The grip of a man who wasn't always lost in the stars. This morning, he was grounded in reality, as much as he had been yesterday evening. And his looming presence, his very physically threw my mind out for a loop. Those flecks of gold in his eyes seemed to grow as he stepped closer still.

"I don't do casual sex, Elya."

Wow. So this wasn't a loss of control after all... Jawslacked, I could only stare in his eyes, and get lost in the constellations that sucked me in. I felt like I was watching the universe in his eyes; he'd never been so open, too truthful with me. Suddenly, his features imperceptibly tensed and I mourned the loss of his unguarded look.

"Was it to you?"

"Uh?"

His hand dropped, leaving me bereft upon my fresher's threshold. Suddenly, the permanent cold of Eadu settled on my shoulders.

"Was it casual sex to you, Elya. A way to relieve the pressure?"

Reality crashed into me like a star destroyer; I had interpreted it all wrong! Hope infused my veins as I rushed to clear the misunderstanding.

"No. It wasn't."

Galen was frozen, his body coiled. Vulnerable. So I reached for his hand, allowing myself to feel the relief his contact brought me. But I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes as I kept fiddling with his long fingers. The words had trouble forming in my mind, and they stumbled upon my tongue in neat disorder.

"I ... care for you, Galen. I've just ... never really been with someone, really, you know? Not like you and... I don't know how to..."

A gentle hand reached for my cheek, calling my eyes up to his face when the last words slithered out of my throat.

"I'm not the marriage type."

Molten gold looked upon me with such benevolence that I felt tears sting at the corner of my eyes. But it didn't matter, for the next moment, Galen had pulled me against his warm body, and nothing mattered but the reassuring strength of his grip. His faint fragrance reached my nose causing my body to relax. Then, when I managed to pull away, I found myself facing a soft pair of lips that bestowed a feather kiss upon mine.

"This doesn't have to change anything," Galen murmured. "We care for each other, we are a good team, and we'll support each other until we can both be free."

"What then?", I murmured, burying my face in his neck.

"If we both make it, we'll see."

That "if" statement was enough for me to circle his frame, and squeeze hard. That dread kept returning; it would not leave now. So I tried to alleviate it with a chuckle. How ironic that after all these months playing the part, we had eventually fallen in each other's arms.

"Well, the base thinks you've been banging for the most part of the year, so you're right. It doesn't quite change anything."

Expect to me. It changes everything.

Galen just held me; he knew he wouldn't get much better from me. I was even worse when it came to feelings than he was.