Star Crossed

Overload

Sorry I've been absent for a while, I hope you still enjoy this story.

Miserable. Those days were miserable, dragging endlessly, with so much to do, and such little time. As if a bucket of molten doonium hung above our heads, tipping ever so slowly until our time was up. All of it, because a tiny cell had decided to take lodging in my womb without asking for my permission.

It resented that baby for so many reasons. The first one; because it made me sick. Weak. But even worse. It placed Galen in more danger. Krennic's words kept echoing in my head.

Galen is ridiculous when it comes to caring for a child.

Even though his feelings for me wouldn't even be up to par to what he felt for Lyra, I still feared for his life. And the simple idea of a baby had already shifted the balance. I could see it Galen's eyes, feel it with every careful decision he took, with every secretive glance he sent my way.

Until now, I had been ready to take the fall to allow Dr Erso to get back to Jyn. His safety had been my absolute priority. He was smarter, stronger than myself, and a father. No one would miss me, but Jyn depended on him. But now... I knew, without a single discussion, that he would jump in front of a blaster shot to save me ... all because of that baby.

For my part, I wasn't ashamed to say I loved him more than I loved the idea of that child. I wouldn't be those mothers that died for their unborn child. None of this nonsense. I had no mother instinct, mine had not been loving enough.

Right?

And so, hearing that I could never compete with Lyra from Galen's mouth, facing the harsh truth had sent me tumbling into depths of despair. I loved him, and hated him for pulling me away from my unemotional self. Erso's affection had been the only glue that kept me together after discovering the raw power of emotions. Feelings could be devastating. Krennic's betrayal had hit me so hard, I sometimes had trouble believing how much a danger he was to me. Galen's affection had been my refuge until now; but if he didn't love me ...

I blinked, straining to keep my tears at bay and diving back into my work. The plans of the shaft were getting nicely together in Galen's hands. And I was close to finding the right parameters to cause a major overload. Unfortunately, I couldn't quite test it without raising suspicions. What if I had messed up the calculations?

Project Celestial Power, they called it. The Death Star, others had dubbed the battle station. Would it see the light at all? Would Erso contemplate its full power of destruction, or manage to have it levelled by the alliance before it could annihilate whole planets?

I sighed, sinking on the stool closest to me as I relaxed my core muscles for a bit. Hidden behind the heavy machinery, none would be the wiser that my waistline was pulling at the fabric of my uniform. My thoughts returned to the man by my side and it irked me to no end! Why couldn't I concentrate on the job at hand? Me, one of the most prized scientists of the empire, subjected to my heart's whims!

Galen barely spared me a glance; ever since our "chance" encounter outside Orson's office, the atmosphere was cold. Freezing, even. How I felt it, given we didn't exchange more than ten words a day? I had no idea. It was nothing tangible, really. Perhaps I was imagining it altogether. How much pressure could I take before I eventually broke?

Suddenly, the future seemed very, very bleak.

Defeated, I grabbed my datapad, and triple checked my numbers again. The clock was ticking, my muscles straining, and my patience waning. Sometimes, I wondered if it wouldn't be easier to surrender to Krennic, and ask for an abortion altogether.

A tiny flutter responded to my depressed thoughts. I straightened; eyebrows furrowed. Must have dreamt it. The lab was quiet those days, people mulling about, preparing for the great demonstration five months from now.