Star Crossed

Nailed

I gently laid Elya on the bed, propping her against the wall. Then I watched her as her body tried to reach consciousness, still too shocked to win the battle. Better she took a few minutes to come around than wake up now and go in full mode panic. Seeing her puddle to the floor like a lifeless doll was an image I could do without.

Lyra's body had been warm, and supple in my arms as I held her. Dead. I shook my head, chasing that horrible memory away. Today, even though the circumstances were dire, we celebrated life. Not death. And Elya wasn't Lyra; I was going to protect her. To keep her alive no matter what, and that little life I had planted in her womb.

She was practical woman after all; she lied to Krennic, a master manipulator that had fooled me for years, without a single twitch. Lied to our colleagues without needing to retreat in the recesses of her mind, still smiling, still socialising even if her brain was so very different from them. The perfect counterbalance between adaptation to a foreign world and me.

Yet, there was one domain where she fell very, very short. Emotions. Elya had repressed any semblance of feelings for years now, keeping her goal in sight, dodging issues like one played a holochess game. She had slowly let me in, without even knowing how far I was gone in my affections, but still wary of that dependency. I knew how her body tensed, sometimes, when she thought me in danger of being discovered. Did she even know what she felt ? And now...

A baby.

To say that a baby would set all her senses on fire was an understatement. There wasn't any worst moment than now to bring another life into the world. So why did I feel so incredibly happy ? Even the guilt had lessened in light of this amazing, astonishing piece of news.

My hand gently brushed her damp strands aside, kissing her brow with a tenderness I had not used for years. Such a present... My thumb then travelled to her cheekbone – she twitched slightly at the contact – then caressed her jaw. What would he look like, this baby of ours ? I hoped he would take after his mother, she was so lovely. A radiant beauty in his grey world, her pale skin contrasting with the fire of her hair. Her lovely green eyes, sparkling with knowledge and sometimes, mischief. She was, to me, the most beautiful woman I'd ever set eyes upon.

My thoughts ran a mile a minute, raising concerns and issues faster than I was able to tackle them. What about Jyn ? What about Lyra ? What about the Death Star ? The escape ? How to continue working in the lab ? Hiding her pregnancy ?

Lots and lots of questions, all of them rolling in my head, threatening to take over. It all fell to shreds compared to the new hope that bloomed in my chest.

Trust the force, my love.

Lyra's voice still echoed in my mind. Had the Force chosen this moment to bestow its most sacred present in our lap ? A new life to care for and cherish ? Another soul that would trust me, and drag the scientist away to call forth the human being ? I remembered when Lyra had announced Jyn's venue, leaving me stunned. At the time, I had had no idea about what a child entailed. Lost in my research, mind firing a thousand of questions, I had found a rock in Lyra. She was happy, enthusiast, and had reassured me. With Jyn, I had learnt how demanding being a father was, but how rewarding as well. And I was looking forward to doing it again...

Now the odds had reversed. I was the older one, the one with experience. Elya would need me to keep her wits about. I would have to be the pillar Lyra had been, to shift priorities once again. The need to retrieve Jyn pulsated even stronger than before, to gather my family and protect them from harm. With a little luck, Lyra would help us from above. I hoped she wouldn't begrudge me for falling in love again. Knowing her, I didn't think she would.

Damn. How was I going to handle that on top of the rest ? Quite a burden on my shoulders, but one that promised such joy that it would drag me, willing and giddy, to the end.