Star Crossed

Works and doubts

Lyra Erso's body accompanied us to Coruscant where she was offered a decent burial. Or so I heard. By the time, I had been shipped back to Eadu and begged to resume my work. Governor Krennic stayed behind, leaving me with more questions than responses for I had not seen much of him during the flight. He had spared me just a few moments, seeing how shocked I was by the turn of events. I am sorry that Lyra's stubbornness brought her to her death. He left me there after explaining how Lyra, a fervent believer if the Force church, had always been a fundamentalist. A fighter, too stubborn for her own good, who had pushed Galen to abandon his research and flee to that remote location in the first place.

As I came back to the lab, I couldn't help but try to make sense of it all. She was going to shoot me, he said. I had to give the call. And I nodded. Yes. I had seen it in her eyes; Lyra Erso was going to shoot my mentor. She believed so strongly in what she said, that the empire would make hostages of them. So why did her death weigh so heavily on my conscience? Why did I feel like weeping rather than whooping?

Perhaps because the man I also admired was going to work alongside me, looking into my eyes and seeing his wife's death at every turn. You'll need to keep an eye on him for me, Elya. Make sure he doesn't do anything rash. Galen is brilliant, but he never knew how to communicate with words. Lyra did it for him. Reach out and help him, he will need someone that understands after what happened. I felt very inadequate right now. I wasn't one to dwell on emotions. I had hoped to meet this brilliant mind and pick his brain, exchange ideas, theories, outside the box craziness and find common ground. But now... I was going to face a defeated, broken and angry man whose demise I had witnessed. I wasn't the right companion to soothe anyone's aches, let alone comfort a pacifist whose wife had died before my very eyes. Killed on orders of my own protector.

What about his daughter? Perhaps having her would cheer him up. We couldn't find her. But I will, trust me. And the gleam of coldness that shone in the Director's eyes, in that moment, caused me to shiver. Yes, I had no trouble believing that he would find the kid and bring him back to her father. So far, he had guided me to befriend Erso and ease away his wife's passing, voicing his concerns for a former friend.

Why did this ballet of events felt so wrong? Never in my life had I felt so conflicted. Until now, my path was traced. To achieve greatness, I had worked hard in both domains. Conflicts of interests didn't concern me; I did what I was told to do and performed above expectations. This is how I came to be here, second in command of a man who would arrive in a few days ... and didn't want to be here.

I sighed. So be it. This was my first, real trial. My first tread in the world of a pacifist. As if anyone could remain neutral after the wars we had faced, and the alliance nailing us at every turn. That group of terrorists, especially, led by Saw Guerrera had killed many of us. How could he object to building weapons to defend ourselves against such a man?

But I had no choice; if I wanted to work with Erso, I would have to try and understand his point of view. The only issue; I had no idea how to get into his good graces. And I had nothing to share with him expect my brain. We had started on the wrong foot, perhaps my perseverance would mend the bridge between us because it sure as hell wouldn't be the family experience. I knew nothing of kids and marriage, and had no intention to let sentimentality stop my career.

I counted the days, dull, until Galen Erso eventually showed up in the facility on Eadu. We all knew we were stalling, pushing paperwork around, for we couldn't get any further. We had hit the wall long ago...

When the doors swished open and Erso walked in, I couldn't hide my surprise. Clad in a fresh researcher uniform, hair swept aside, freshly shaven, he looked ten years younger than during our last encounter. Yet ... the light was gone from his eyes. He barely gave me a glance before setting down to business. Didn't present himself; we all knew who he was. He nearly didn't talk, only to ask where we stood on the research. For five days, he had us on edge. Me, my fellow scientists, the other teams; wiring, architects, all of them. We presented plans of the new station, gave him a state of play of where we stood, research-wise. I talked about our setbacks, our tries, our ideas and every single test that had run wrong. Especially those were lives were lost, those failures that had caused Director Krennic to lose his previous post ... but this, I wasn't aware of yet. I would learn, much later, that it was the reason why he was so desperate to get Galen to work for him again. A redemption of sorts in the eyes of the great Lord Vader and our emperor Palpatine.