Funny facts about life

Chapter 7

1. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

2. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.
And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always give 100% at school: 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, 5% on Friday.
And help me to remember: When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.

3. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

4. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

5. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

6. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

7. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

8. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.