Funny facts about life

Chapter 15

1. When life gives you lemons take them! Free shit is cool!

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

4. We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.

5. Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words.

6. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

7. When we were together, you always said you’d die for me. Now that we’ve broke up, I think it’s time you kept your promise!

8. They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

9. I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

10. Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don’t have it.

11. I sometimes go to my own little world, but that’s okay, they know me there.

12. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

13. Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

14. We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour. 

15. You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.