1. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
2. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
3. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
4. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
5. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
6. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
7. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
8. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
9. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
10. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
11. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
12. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
13. If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling.
14. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.
15. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbors newspaper, that's the time to do it.
16. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
17. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
18. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
19. Fox news, so far no news about foxes.
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Next chapter will be an insult special!
Peace out! <3
- SilvaCat
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Funny facts about life
HumorApparently these things I think up are funny. Everyone says so at school so why not post them on wattpad?
