1. Never steal. The government hates competition.
2. You cry, I cry, …you laugh, I laugh…you jump off a cliff I laugh even harder!
3. DON’T HIT KIDS!!! No, seriously, they have guns now.
4. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
5. If common sense is so common why is there so many people with out it?
6. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.
7. Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
8. If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
9. There is a light at the end of every tunnel…just pray it’s not a train.
10. All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
11. Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
12. My friend: 'I feel special.' Me: 'You are.'
13. Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
14. Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
15. Maths teacher: If you have two cupcakes and someone asks you for one how many do you have left? Me: Two.
16. Push can get you almost anywhere, except through a door marked ‘pull’.
17. People tell me there is plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish.
18. I turned my phone onto “Airplane mode” and threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever.
19. I stepped on a cheerio this morning… Does that make me a cereal killer?
20. If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.
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Funny facts about life
HumorApparently these things I think up are funny. Everyone says so at school so why not post them on wattpad?
