Cutie Pie Irwin

Chapter 8

Ashton was in his pajamas with a bowl of popcorn on his lap.

He was halfway into his Criminal Minds Netflix Marathon Binge Spectacular, when the doorbell rang.

"Lauren, I'm busy!" Ashton screamed. "The door!"

She came into the living room a moment later. "Doing what? Being lazy?"

"Yes. I don't know when I'll be done, so don't ask." Ashton said, throwing a handful of popcorn at her.

Harry crawled out from under the couch and scooped up the popcorn, making Ashton cry out in surprise and lift his legs off the floor. "Jesus Christ Harry! How long have you been down there? Why have you been down there?"

The doorbell rang again, and Mrs. Irwin came down. "I'll get it, it's probably my new child."

She opened the door and Ashton hid behind his pillow when he saw Luke at the door.

"Lucifer!" Ashton's family squealed and ran to hug him.

"I called it!" Mrs. Irwin yelled. She shoved Lauren to the floor. "In your face, bitch!"

Harry clung to Luke's leg as Luke came into the living room. "Hi Ash." He smiled.

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here. Again?" Ashton hissed, lowering the pillow.

"Our date is tonight, remember?" Luke raised an eyebrow as Harry started crawling up his body.

"Um, that's tomorrow night." Ashton said dryly. "And I'm not going anyways, so you can leave."

"But I also have some papers for you." Luke slid his backpack off his shoulder.

Ashton got the hint. "Just put them in my room and I'll do it later."

"Is that some sort of gay sexual innuendo?" Mrs. Irwin asked. "What does it mean? Does 'put it in my room' mean 'put your dick up my ass'?"

"Yes." Lauren smirked at Ashton. He glared and stuck his tongue out at her.

"No Mrs. Irwin, it's just some school stuff." Luke flashed her a smile.

"Is 'school stuff' code for 'gay butt stuff'?"

"Yes again." Lauren laughed as Ashton threw the pillow at her.

"No! Luke's not my boyfriend and I have no interest in doing anything sexual with him!" Ashton groaned in frustration.

"Ashton, you know what you have to do if you lie." Mrs. Irwin frowned.

"Pray for forgiveness?" Luke asked.

"Nope." She shook her head. "Sleep on the roof and think about the poor children in Haiti. Then eat raw toast for a week, then give me a five hundred paper on why the color green makes me feel sick."

"This family is a train wreck." Ashton put his face in his hands.

Harry had successfully managed to climb his way to Luke's shoulders. "Are you a football player?" He asked, poking Luke's face all over. "Can you teach me to play the saxophone? Will you be there for me when the aliens attack? Will you be my Spock?"

"Yeah, 'course." Luke smiled and Harry beamed.

"Now now Harry, Luke is Ashton's." Mrs. Irwin scolded, lifting Harry off of Luke.

"Nah, Harry can have him." Ashton waved a hand dismissively.

"I can see the wedding already!" Lauren sighed dramatically. "Queerly beloved, we are gathered here togay, to join Lucifer and Ashifer in rainbow matrimony. May they have an abundance of bottoms."

"I am not going through this again." Ashton glared and stood up. "I'll be in my room." He hurried up the stairs to his room.

"Ashifer! You are taking your boyfriend to your bedroom. Right. Now." Mrs. Irwin shouted. She shoved Luke up the stairs. "I want grandbabies!"

"He is not and never will be my boyfriend!" Ashton yelled. (Idk y but I almost typed daddy instead of boyfriend)

"It's okay." Luke whispered to Ashton's family. "He's just having a hard time accepting it. But we have a date tomorrow and hey! You all can come to my house and meet my parents!"

"Really?" Lauren squealed.

"Yeah, I'll come by tomorrow and drive us over!" Luke smiled as Harry wrapped himself around his legs again.

"Love me." Harry whispered.

"That sounds lovely dear," Mrs. Irwin said as she pried her son off of Luke.

"Bye Ashton! I'll see you tomorrow at school!" Luke called up.

"Not if I can help it." Ashton yelled back.