Cutie Pie Irwin

Chapter 6

Ashton felt all eyes on him as he sat down at the kitchen table.

"Cutie Pie, come sit by Luke." Mrs. Irwin said, patting Luke's legs in a way that made Luke look uncomfortable yet slightly aroused.

Ashton shook his head and slid down further in his seat.

Harry got underneath the table and grabbed Ashton's jeans, pulling the boy off his chair. Lauren, who was sat next to Luke, grabbed Ashton and hauled him up onto Luke's lap.

"Hey!" Ashton protested as Luke wrapped his arms around Ashton happily.

"There we go." Mrs. Irwin said happily. She laced her fingers together and set them on the table. "Now, onto important matters. We need a ship name."

"Ooo! Ooh! What about Auke?" Lauren volunteered. Her mom nodded slowly. "I like it."

"What?" Ashton cried. "How do you even pronounce that?" 

"Or Ashke." Harry said.

"No, that's even worse." Ashton shook his head in embarrassment. "Just-stop."

"What about Lashton?" Luke asked.

It was silent around the table, until Ashton's family suddenly started screaming and applauding. "It's perfect!" Mrs. Irwin cried.

"I'm naming all my dolls that!" Lauren yelled.

Harry sniffed and wiped his eys with his napkin, giving Luke a thumbs up sign.

"Honestly?" Ashton rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"You don't like it?" Luke asked, pulling back a bit to look at the boy on his lap.

"We're not dating!" Ashton snapped. "All I do is your h...." He trailed off as his family looked at him with big eyes.

"You...do Luke?" Mrs. Irwin asked.

"Uh..." Ashton tried to think of something to backtrack.

"No way." Lauren shook her head. "Luke tops. And if he bottomed, he wouldn't be topped by Ashton."

"Hey!" Ashton snapped, heat rising to his cheeks. "I could top if I wanted!"

Luke snorted.

"Well," Mrs. Irwin patted Luke's hand. "Either way, I'm just glad you're a part of Ashton's sex life."

"I'm happy to be." Luke smiled.

Ashton jumped up. "Stop it! All of you! I'm not dating Luke and I'm a virgin!"

"For now." Harry coughed under his breath.

"Not in your dreams you're not." Lauren muttered.

"Ashton gets it up the ass." Mrs. Irwin mumbled behind her hand.

Luke giggled. He pulled Ashton back down onto his lap. "They're just teasing babe, it's okay. I know we're not dating."

"But they don't!" Ashton argued, gesturing to his family. Varia is dating Luke, not me.

Not that he cared or anything.

"Why did you even come over? I see enough of you at school." Ashton mumbled.

"I just wanted to see my favorite nerd." Luke said, pinching Ashton's cheek. "Is that so bad?"

"Yes!" Ashton snapped, knocking Luke's hand away. "Don't touch me."

Luke looked down. "Well you at kinda sitting on me...so..."

Ashton huffed. "Can we just get this dinner over with?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry." Luke said.

"Well hun, your dinners on your lap." Mrs. Irwin said casually.

Ashton glared. "One more sexual innuendo and I'm gone."

"Fine fine." She reached over and handed the two boys a bowl of spaghetti.

Luke took some and put it on the plate in front of them while Ashton grabbed some water and poured it into the glass.

"So," Lauren said, pushing her food around on her plate. "How many kids ya gunna have?"

"Two or three." Luke said, shushing Ashton.

"Names?!" She asked eagerly.

"I at least want the littlest boy to be named Fletcher." Luke said with a smile.

"Oh come on! Mom!" Ashton whined.

"Shut up Cutie Pie, the adults are talking." She said. She leaned in towards Luke. "Any girls?"

"One girl." Luke nodded. "Haven't picked a name yet though."

"You still have time." She said as she leaned back, satisfied.

Angry and embarrassed, Ashton twirled the fork in the spaghetti, then shoved the food into Luke's mouth.

"They're feeding each other already!" Harry aww'ed.

"Ugh!" Ashton threw his hands up. "I don't have time for this, I have a paper to write."

"School can wait, you're boyfriend is over." Mrs. Irwin said sternly. "Prioritize."

Ashton glared and crossed his arms, staying like that for the rest of dinner.

-

"Thanks for letting me have dinner with you guys." Luke as he grabbed his coat.

"Anytime, honey pie kitten sweetie sugar cube cutie baby child thing." Mrs. Irwin said, crushing Luke in a hug. "Come over again soon!"

"Like tomorrow!" Lauren said, hugging Luke as well.

Ashton sulked on the staircase. "Will you just leave already?"

"Cutie Pie Irwin!" Everyone gasped.

He rolled his eyes.

"Bye." Luke smiled at them all, winked at Ashton, and left.

"Finally." Ashton muttered. He headed back upstairs to work on his paper.

He finally knew what he was gunna write about.

How It Is Possible To Be The Most Annoying Human Being In The World, A Research Paper On Luke Hemmings, by Ashton Irwin