Tell Me You Love Me

22| Life

Chapter 22: Life (River's POV)

I woke up in the middle of the night when I heard her shuffling around and almost whimpering. I turned to my nightstand, turning the lamp on. I squinted under the light, turning to her. 

Her back is still to me but she's clutching the blanket tightly and shifting around while whimpering and mumbling. I think she's having another nightmare. 

"Brielle, wake up." I shook her lightly, pulling her onto her back. "Brielle, you're just dreaming, come on. Wake up, wake up." I grabbed her hand, pulling the blanket out of her death grip. "Brielle!" 

She shot up while pulling her knees in and covering her face with her hands immediately. 

"Jesus, are you all right?" I reached for the bottle, twisting it open before putting one hand on her back. 

She sniffled, her shoulders shaking a little before she took in a shaky breath. I can tell she's crying. 

"Brielle," I whispered, rubbing her back. 

She sniffled and then lifted her head, throwing her hair over her shoulders and taking the bottle out of my hands, drinking a few gulps. 

"Are you okay?" I asked, scanning her face for anything. 

She sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. She sniffled again and started crying once more. 

"Brielle, please don't cry." I lifted my hand to wipe her cheek and... she flinched. She flinched but she didn't push me away. "Brielle?" 

She blinked and then drank more water, not speaking a word. When I reached out the second time to wipe her cheek she didn't flinch. She left the bottle on her nightstand and wiped her cheeks and eyes before falling back onto the bed. She put her arm over her eyes and took deep breaths, calming herself down. 

I grabbed her free hand, lying down beside her. I turned the light off because I didn't think she would want to talk about it. I really thought she was just going to go back to sleep and expect me to not bring this up, considering she hasn't spoken one word. I opened my mouth to ask her if she was all right and if she wanted to talk about it but I didn't when I realized she was still crying. I can't believe how much her parents and life at home makes her cry. Even just thinking or dreaming about it, she loses control. 

"I just feel so broken," she cried, wiping her eyes repeatedly before just covering them with her hands. I lay on my side, watching her silently. "I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about how much he hurt me. I just want to erase every memory of it but the memories live in my body too. That's why I..." 

"That's why you flinched," I finished the sentence for her. 

She rolled onto her side, burying her face in my chest. "Can you please just make it go away?" She clutched my shirt tightly while crying. 

It hurts to see her like that. I did what I could do. I kept rubbing her back, I kept her close, I let her cry but I wiped her tears too. 

After a while, she calmed down and she wasn't so close but she was close enough. She pulled back enough to look at me. "You know what, River?" she whispered. 

"What, Bri?" 

"In another life," she paused. "I could love you." 

I blinked once. Then twice. "You might love me in this one too. Or I might love you in this one. We have a whole lifetime to spend together. Don't shut that idea down just yet," I replied, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

"I really want to hate you in this life for everything you did to me. It wasn't just playful high school bullying, River." 

"I know."