Tell Me You Love Me

24| Epiphany

Chapter 24: Epiphany (River's POV)

"Thank you so much for coming," she smiled, waving the last of our guests goodbye. I've really just been out of it today and I completely handed her the reins. She did it all today. Managed the guests, made sure everything was right, made sure we looked like a happy husband and wife. 

Her parents have already left, mine are leaving right now. And she doesn't know this, but we're staying behind because there's a conversation we really need to have without being interrupted and that can only happen when we're alone. 

She began following my parents out but I grabbed her wrist, tugging her back. "What's wrong?" she asked, looking up at me with her doe eyes. She looks genuinely worried for me. 

"Can we talk?" 

"Here? You can't wait till we get home?" 

Home. I can't believe we're bound together for life now, she's even living with me. Well, she has been for the past week but it's kicking in now. 

"I can but I don't want to. I'll drive us back, don't worry about the car." 

"Okay," she nodded. 

"Where the hell do we stand?" I asked bluntly. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean where the hell do we stand? We're husband and wife but we don't love each other. I don't even think we like each other. What is this?" 

"We're husband and wife who... don't hate each other. But we don't love each other. Sometimes, we like each other. And sometimes we dislike each other. Isn't that it?" 

"There's no label for that," I retorted. 

"We're already labeled as husband and wife," she replied, shooting me a pointed look. "I don't want to label it more. Sometimes we like each other, sometimes we don't. That's all it is for me. And of course, we have each other's back." 

"How can we be husband and wife without any affection?" 

"My parents have never been affectionate, so I really don't see the problem. But I know you view marriage differently." 

"You can't expect me to go my whole life with you without wanting physical affection. What about that?" 

She blinked, processing. "Are you... wait a second," she chuckled softly. "Are you saying you want more? Physically? From me?" 

"What?" 

"Let me ask that differently. What do you want to do tonight?" 

I stared at her. "I don't know," I shrugged. "I'm not asking to have sex with me, relax. I'm saying that's just a part of all this. Just how emotions are part of it. How long can we go just pretending to be a couple that's in love without something actually happening between us?" 

"When did you start thinking about this?" 

"This morning." 

"So... you had like an epiphany?" 

"Epiphany? Sure," I shrugged. 

"You think something will actually happen between us while we pretend?" I nodded. 

"How could it not? Everyone has needs. Both physical and emotional. How long will we ignore them?" 

She fell into thought. "Fair enough. But let's cross that bridge when we get to it. Why are you worrying about it now?" 

"Because I don't know where we stand right now, Brielle. This past week, you've been controlling my emotions and I've been doing as you ask, but I'm not going to anymore."