The Very Best of Me

16 - Sitting in Seattle

May 1, 2013

I'm not letting myself cry right now. I don't even think I want to cry right now. Because I'm not sad. I'm angry.

I could have kept my baby for myself. I told him as a convenience to him. I gave him the option to stay or run. He chose to stay. He also chose to be with me.

I'm not sure where his mind made a wrong turn. Because being with me does not include going out to fuck other people.

Tommy walks through the door, hair ruffled and clothes messy. I turn on the light and he jumps.

"Tell me something, Thomas."  I start.

"Ava, I don't want to do this tonight. Please don't do this tonight." Tommy pleads.

"Do you think she's prettier than me?" I ask.

He runs his temples and groans before looking back over at me.

"No." he sighs.

"Liar." I scoff.

"No!" Tommy raises his voice.

"You ruin everything. Everywhere you go. Anything you touch gets destroyed." I mutter.

"Will you listen to me? Nothing happened." he assures me.

"Nothing?! You kissed her. You were out with another woman all night. I'm pregnant! Is that fucking nothing to you?" I query loudly.

"Yes-. I mean, no!" Tommy whispers.

"How many times did you kiss her? Don't you dare lie to me. We've been through too much for you to start lying to me." I remind him.

He sits down on the edge of the bed before he answers. I pick up a pillow to throw it at him but I stop myself as he looks up towards me.

"Several times." he mumbles.

"Oh, god. You make me sick!" I scream.

I get up and begin to walk away but I stop myself. Partially because I realize that this conversation isn't over.

"But it didn't mean anything, Ava. She made me realize I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that now." Tommy coos.

"I'm three months pregnant and you're already out trying to fuck other women? How could I ever trust anything you say again?" I interrogate.

"Ava-." he begins.

"Fuck you, Tommy. We're done. For good this time." I mutter angrily.

Tommy tries to grab my wrist and stop me from leaving. I snatch my arm away from him and I scoff.

"The thing is, you swear you would never hurt people and you want to be better than what you were taught. You are just like your father. And that's a sad reality you need to face." I murmur.

"How could you even say that to me?" Tommy queries.

"How could you go out and hook up with Laurel? When you knew who it would hurt. Not just me. But Oliver." I seethe.