Undeniable (Feitan x Reader)

Chapter 33: Stay By Her Side

"If something happens to her it's your fault."

Feitan was great at many things, but he was excellent at beating himself up about situations that he felt directly responsible for. How could he have been so stupid? So careless? The events that had unfolded in the last few weeks had him all over the place mentally. He had kept his guard down. He knew that if any enemy of his or the Phantom Troupe found you, you would be in a lot of danger.

The smallest details have consequences that change lives forever.

The only image in his head was that of your lost book in the alley. The one thing that connected you and him. It was a connection built by fate, if he hadn't picked it up and walked away he would have missed all of this. The idea of living a life without you in it stung him deeply, and he could only think about something as seemingly insignificant as a novel changed his life completely.

Out of all of this, the thing he regretted the most was how he let me slip away thinking that he didn't love you back.

What was love? This was a question that he spent his whole life searching for the answer to.

"It's when your body releases increased levels of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin to the brain." That is what Shalnark would say.

"It's where you can't live without that person and your whole life revolves around them!" Would be Shizuku's reply.

"Sex". Phinks would giggle.

"Whatever it is, it's not something we will ever have," Machi growled.

Machi was wrong. It was something he had, something that was so real he could grasp it. When did he start to fall in love with you? Could it have been when he was mesmerized by how radiantly the sun always captured your features when it was setting? Your kindness? Your acceptance of him?

No. There's were all contributing factors but the one thing that made him realize that he actually loved you was that he valued your life over his. This was something that no one had ever accomplished before. Feitan was a selfish person, his life meant more to him than anything else. His life that he had fought so hard to keep, his life that others felt had no value, it was his life. But you mattered more to him than any of that.

Without hesitation, without a doubt, he knew he would lay his own life on the line just to save yours.

"It's dangerous Fei. Having someone the chain user could hold over you, she won't live long by your side. Not just him but all the other enemies we have." Phinks words resonated through his head, only serving as fuel to him, he ran even faster as his heart began to beat faster.

"You act like...I can't protect her." You had growled at your friend

The air of the morning was particularly chilly. Despite this, you felt a warmth radiating from your cheeks. Your hair was blowing in the wind, as carefree as it deserved to. As much as your body aches a while ago, you could feel no pain anymore.

Mornings like these made you nostalgic, you yearned for a time when things were simpler and less complicated. You could hear the first song of the day as the birds chirped cheerfully.

"You know Y/N, there will come a day when I will no longer be around. There will be many things you'll need to figure out on your own but please try to remember to always follow your heart. Whenever a songbird sings, they do it from the heart, and they do so because they are truly free."

Your mother's voice was faded, your memory almost failed to recall what it sounded like.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you'll be around forever mom."