Understanding You *Completed*

Twenty Nine

As the months progressed, Miles' condition began to rapidly declined. What was once a capable man became a shell.

The first to go was his ability to keep a conversation. He'd spew jumbled phrases that only he could decipher each time Jocelyn spoke to him. It was difficult to grasp with at first, but his animated expressions helped her.

The next were his fine motor skills. He couldn't button his pants, type, or even hold a pen any longer. They tried tirelessly to attempt to rehab the skills as they'd done previously, but all hope was lost as he finally remained unable to move his arms whatsoever.

Jocelyn knew the end was just around the corner as he began sleeping nearly entire days at a time. As such that he'd often miss meals, the nurses switched him to total parenteral nutrition.

She'd quit her job as the stress of watching her lover deteriorate ate away at her psyche. There was no way she was fit to continue serving others. Thankfully, Lauren understood her situation.

To cope, Jocelyn began seeing a therapist with her new found free time. It was a much needed addition to her life and had allowed her to work through the grief she still harbored over the situation.

"Hello," Jocelyn mumbled as she smiled at Mandy before allowing the woman to help her sit for a moment. She was nearly closing out her pregnancy at 28 weeks and was beyond ready to give birth.

"How you feeling, momma bear?" Mandy questioned as she rubbed the woman's shoulders.

"Tired." Jocelyn hummed before taking the woman's hand so she could stand once more.

Entering Miles' area, she navigated her way to his bedroom before softly knocking on the door. As suspected, he remained asleep and she slowly waddled her way to the side of the bed before taking her usual spot beside him.

Running her hands across his features, she knew it was time when he didn't react as he usually did. The acceptance that washed over her was only possible as she realized this was what Miles wanted.

If she were to prolong his survival, she'd be trapping him in the very hell he had been trying to get away from. He didn't want to live fighting for his life and keeping him on medical support was doing just that.

Despite her efforts, tears blurred her vision and soon enough she began sobbing into his chest. Their time was done and love had run its course- she had to let go.

"I love you, Miles Ellis. I cannot wait to spend the next life with you." She muttered before standing from the bed and waddling back to the nursing station.

She didn't have to speak as Mandy nodded and began typing something on her computer. As Jocelyn made her way back into the room, she couldn't bring herself to join him on the bed. Instead she pulled the desk chair alongside the bed and held his hands in hers.

"I'm letting you go, okay? I know it's what you want." Hot tears raced down her face before falling over their connected hands.

"Do you want to stay in the room?" Mandy spoke as she rolled a cart inside.

"Yeah, I promised I'd be by his side until the very end." Jocelyn nodded before dipping her head as Mandy began pulling out needles and bottles of clear liquids.

Another group of individuals entered the room, each of them mumbling their respects as they watched on. Jocelyn assumed they were there to assure everything was done by the book.

"This will be painless and he'll pass in his sleep. It'll only take about 5 minutes." Mandy announced before she injected the solution into his iv.

Jocelyn held his hands tightly, kissing his knuckles as she mumbled her goodbyes. Miles remained unmoving as time passed, yet she noticed his chest no longer rose and the dull thump of his pulse could no longer be felt in her palm.

"I'm sorry, honey." Mandy spoke as she pulled Jocelyn into an embrace. The tears she'd been suppressing escaped as she sobbed into the woman's arms. Her chest felt empty and her body heavy as she realized he was finally gone.
...

"Hi, I'm Jocelyn Major. I had a pickup for 3:15pm." She smiled as she nervously pulled at the end of her dress.

It'd been a month since Miles had passed and each day seemed harder than the last. She'd often find herself checking her phone for a message from him only to be met with a blank screen.

"Hello, yes, give me just a moment." The man behind the counter sent her a polite smile before disappearing into a back room.

Per Miles' written request, she had him cremated and stored in a necklace that she would wear until her own death. He'd somehow made the reservation before she could so the design was unknown to her.

"Here you are. Everything has already been paid for." The man came back with a golden bag which he placed on the counter.

"Thank you." Jocelyn returned to her car before opening it. A small black box sat on top of a rectangular box.

She pulled both out before opening the rectangular box first. It was a golden hourglass necklace that was filled with his ashes. The message on the box card had clearly been written by Miles.

'Until we meet again'

Tears blurred her vision of the familiar box shaped signature. Opening the smaller box, a sob bubbled up from her chest at the ring that sat inside. A large diamond sat on the silver band. Roman numbers of the date they met at the speed dating event had been engraved on the inside of the band.

Jocelyn allowed herself to feel the pain that pierced her heart as she slipped on the ring. Jocelyn Ellis.
——

I just wanted to announce that I do not mean to offend anyone in my depiction of Glioblastoma Multiforme.

As such that research is limited on the condition, most of my information about end of life came from case studies and online posts of those who've lost a love one to this horrible illness.

I chose it for Miles as it was, or at least described to be, a painless death while also being (unfortunately) incurable.

If you would like to have a conversation about this illness, whether it simply be sharing your experience or providing education on end of life procedures, do not hesitate to message me. I tried my best to represent it respectfully and with the knowledge available to me.