Subject 116

7

Another day, another morning Lydia wakes up before me, and far before we're all supposed to be out of bed. I was used to sleeping in, but last night I had stayed up later than usual. I really wanted to know where Finn came from, and where he went after he left the main room. I had never been so curious about anything since the explosion, all my interest for any subject had dropped significantly. But Finn was interesting, there was no doubt about that. Hell, he didn't even know the answers to most of the questions I had, which only gave me more. I don't even remember falling asleep, but soon enough, Lydia was sitting on the foot of my bed, tapping my leg in an attempt to get my attention. I gently nudged her off, not really thinking about it.

"Go back to bed, it's too early." I insisted, whispering, hoping nobody else would hear me. She didn't say anything, and just moved closer to my face, staring at me like a child does. I remember when I was like her. I wanted to know everything about everything, and she didn't have that opportunity. It really pissed me off, so I wasn't going to be frustrated with her for wanting some attention. She tilted her head. "You look tired." she enunciated, and she wasn't wrong. I was, but I wasn't going to be short with her because of it. "Yeah. I didn't sleep very well last night."

"Why not?" she folded her legs, crossing them, and kept the same wonder intact.

"I was just thinking. About a lot of things. The boy we met yesterday, how my dad's doing-"

"How was he doing before you left?" I didn't think a five year old could rub something that personal in my face, but it happened. Thankfully I was able to keep my cool, I had a pretty big soft spot for kids. "He wasn't great, Lydia. He was very upset-" I didn't want to bring my mother into this, I hadn't told her about that yet, and I didn't even know if she fully understood the concept of death. I couldn't put that on a child. "-about me leaving. Now he's all by himself, I think he's lonely. He misses me, I think I know that much."

"My daddy wasn't very upset. I walked away with the man in the lab coat all by myself! I didn't need any help, not even from mom. They let me leave, they said I would be okay by myself."

My heart shattered. I could have started crying right in front of her, so I took a deep breath to make sure that wouldn't happen. Neglecting a child was almost worse than treating them with disrespect. She was a little over a toddler, whoever her parents were, I hated them. And sending their kid away with a bunch of people they don't know, so easily, was disgusting. My dad struggled, he cared, I know he did. His resistance was genuine, I could feel it. So to just let your five year old child wander independently was a wicked thing to do. Once we got out of here, she couldn't go back to those people who weren't suitable parents. I would figure things out, I was old enough to do at least something. Dad would get it too, he would understand the needs of someone so small and clueless as to what a terrible place they're a part of.

"I'm so sorry, Lydia."

She tilted her head again. "Why? What's wrong?"

I shook my head, trying to divert her attention to something else. We stayed in silence for another moment before the lights came on, perfect timing. I wasn't the only one awake, clearly. A lot of kids here had a hard time sleeping since they weren't at home anymore. I felt bad for them, a lot of them probably came from similar situations as me. They just wanted to go home and feel safe, I could only agree with that mindset.

People started getting out of bed, and walking towards the door to move on into the next room. They moved in a format like they were soldiers, they were just kids for God's sake. I didn't care if this was necessary or not, knowing we were all trapped in here like experiments to be used for research felt horrible to me. Especially with Finn. I didn't know all the details of what kind of treatment he was getting, but it was far worse than any of ours. I hadn't started any therapy yet, and was glad to say the least. Talking to a psychiatrist wasn't going to change my need to leave this place, if their goal in mind was to try and distract me from wanting that.