Subject 116

10

Hallie came back from her therapy session, frustrated. I knew she would, she found this whole system to be run very poorly, and I didn't disagree. She was back sooner than I thought, which was both relieving and confusing. I wanted her to come back as soon as she could, but didn't expect it. She said the doctor gave her very few questions to answer, and she was the one asking the most, getting pretty vague responses. Every time I was sent in, I wasn't allowed to ask many questions, and didn't object to that, since I had already asked everything that came to mind, and never got the answer I was looking for. I could almost see her frustration when she came back down the hall, it was so strong.

I understood why she felt like that, I just wasn't as obvious about it as she was. She said she needed some time to be alone, and think about a few things. I let her, and she went off into the bedroom quickly, trying to avoid anyone else who might have noticed her different behavior. I didn't notice Peyton took a spot next to me, and recognized how deep in thought I looked. "You worried about her?" he asked, catching my attention.

"Oh, yeah. I don't blame her for wanting to be alone, though, the first therapy session can be hard, especially when you're new to all of this." The first time I was asked a series of questions, similar to the ones she had received, I didn't even know my own name. They didn't tell me until the middle of it, and they told me I was under a strong amount of stress, but I didn't really know what that meant until they specified. Several doctors were monitoring me when I first woke up in the facility, and they all seemed so fascinated with something, I could only assume it was me. They knew a lot of things about us, but couldn't figure out why my brain had been wiped. After Hallie's reaction towards them, I was starting to see how unprofessional this really was, despite my original thoughts.                      

"It is, I wasn't too fond of the idea when I first got here either. But it's been alright now, I've gotten used to it, though it's only been a few weeks. How were you during your first time?" I never really had a conversation with just Peyton before. I watched him get picked on by Monica, and pick on her back, so this regular talk between us felt strange, he talked to me differently, but not in a way that made me feel inferior.

"Confused, and that's all I've been able to feel for the most part. Every night I want to know more, but nothing helps, ever. They don't even have a record of who my family is, if I have one." I sighed, admitting the whole truth. If they took me from a household, then surely they would know who my family was, but they hadn't told me after I asked, which indicated that I probably lost them to the explosion.

"They don't have one for any of us, actually. They just take us in one by one, and the only things they write down are our mental states and our standard information, like names and ages, but that's pretty much it. I know we have files somewhere, but they're probably not very descriptive. But not knowing where you're from must really suck, sorry about that, man." I found his way of speaking amusing, so I smiled and dodged his statement.

"It's alright, I've adjusted. Maybe I'll find them someday, if they're not dead."

"Jeez, that's a pretty rough way of looking at it. Everyone you knew can't be dead, there must be at least a few left. Be positive, I'm sure there's someone still out there for you. And if not, we're here. We've got your back." I swear I could feel my heart rate increase, even though there were no monitors around. That kind of confirmation was never given to me by a doctor, it had only come from the other people I met in the facility. The four of them had been so kind to me, even though I was abnormal, and difficult to talk to, or read. And everyone had their own distinctive personalities, while I was just a shell of an old person who didn't exist anymore. Everything was so empty all the time, but the life deflecting off of everyone else made me feel a little more whole.