What Happened and What should have Been

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

He's just confused. That is it! He's confused and getting me tangled up in his mess.

........

He can't be serious! How can he be in love with me? And what...he was jealous? No Way!

.........

Does he really love me?

He likes girls, he's straight! And...and I'm straight...I like girls! How is this even possible, two straight guys falling in love? Doesn't even make sense.

Love...what the hell am I thinking? Why am I thinking about falling in love? He's my best friend. I don't have such feelings for him. No! No! No!

His brain is muddled because of that night. Whatever he saw has just clouded his thinking. How can he fall for me after seeing me like...like that?

But why was I just sitting there like a rock...when he...when he kissed me. Why didn't I try to push him away? And my heart...my heart was beating like crazy. Why...

No! Don't think too much into it. You were just baffled by his sudden confession. And it's merely because I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time. Yes, it's definitely that! Nothing more. Nothing!

......

It's Li Cheng! Li Cheng who falls for someone new every few months. He will get over this also as easily as he got into the mess. In a few days he will move on from me to someone else, just like he did with Mei Fang. It's what he does.

What if he doesn't? No! I can't let him lead me on like this. I have to reject him. Yes! That is what Xing Si said I could do, and that is what I will do.

Teng Mu Ren has been sitting in the hotel room pacing back and forth, talking to himself for the past couple of hours, thinking about what happened with Li Cheng that evening.

******

Did he just kiss me?

"TengTeng, this is what I wanted to talk to you about. I...I love you." Li Cheng looks into his eyes and confesses.

Mu Ren staggers backwards instantly and gets up to lean against the wall. "Xiao Li Cheng! Stop messing around."

"I'm not! I'm telling you honestly, that I have feeling for you. You wanted to know why I was avoiding you earlier right? Well... I wasn't avoiding you on purpose. I was trying to figure out my feelings. I...I had been thinking about you since that ill fated night. I couldn't stop it how much ever I tried. That night.. I saw you... I saw how beautiful and sexy you were, when you were writhing in the passion."

What the hell is he talking about? How can he have feelings for me because of that?

"I've been in shambles since then. I see you every time I close my eyes. I want to be with you all the time. I want to touch you, kiss you. I even dreamt about you...about us.
I tried..I really did...but I can't stop these feelings, TengTeng. I realized it for sure when I saw you hit it off with Gill. I was so hurt and jealous that day, I hated myself for introducing her to you. I've really fallen in love with you, TengTeng" Li Cheng confesses again.