Love and War 2 Love your crazy

Chapter 7

Gabbys POV

"Good afternoon Gabby ." My therapist smiled at me as I entered her office . I returned the smile and sat down on the comfy couch. "Afternoon Mrs.Gray ." I watched her close the door and sit across from me . "How are you today ?" She asked . "I'm doing well actually ." I nodded .

"Oh that's always nice to hear. Any particular reason why that might be ?" Mrs.Gray smiled . "No, just woke up feeling great !" Okay so I little exaggerated but I was in a good mood today . "We'll all right than . There's absolutely nothing wrong with that ." Mrs.Gray laughed . I nodded my head smiling . "So anything you want to talk about today ?" I thought about it for a second . Hell yeah there were tons of things I wanted -no needed to talk about but didn't have anyone I could talk too that I trust or know that wouldn't judge me . "I see your taking awhile to think about it over there . What's on your mind ?" She observed .

"Well....I talked to Justin ." I whispered . Mrs.Gray had a small smile . "Oh yeah ? And how was that for you?" Gosh here comes the psychological questions that make me get emotional and in my feelings . "I don't exactly know ." I answer half truthfully . She was quiet and let me take a moment to think about it . "I mean I haven't talked to him nearly a year and he just popped back up ." Just thinking about this again made me frustrated . "That's understanding . It has been a very long time since you and Justin actually talked with one another . I'm sure there was a lot of emotions ."

I looked down at my fingers and picked under my acrylic nails . "Yeah." Was all I could say . "When you said he popped up at your house what did exactly mean ?" I took a deep breath . "He just showed up at my house right before Emery's birthday . He wanted to do something for her birthday together ." I explained . "So Justin showed up randomly at your house unannounced asking to do something for your daughters birthday ?" I nodded at the information . "Yes . I had no idea he was coming over . I hadn't previously spoke to him at all ."

"How did him just showing up make you feel ?" I wrinkled my nose . "It made me upset . Not upset where I wanted to cry , it made me upset to where I wanted to literally slap him across the face !" I answered honestly . "Wow , you wanted to slap in the face . For you to have felt like doing something like that you must of been feeling a lot of angry emotions ." Well I mean of course I did . He just showed up at my damn house ! "I did but I didn't act on the feeling. I just felt disrespected . He shows up at my home when he hasn't even talked to me in a year than he acts like nothing never happened between us , as if everything was okay !" This conversation was bringing back those old feelings . "Do you think that he just showed up because he felt like if he was to ask you first you'd say no ?" Mhmm I never really thought about that . "Even if that was the case it still doesn't make it right to show up ." I scoffed. "Yes that is known to be rude to just show up at people's home unannounced.But do you think he wanted to just put everything behind you both and be friends ?"

I shook my head frantically. "No because if he wanted to do that he would of said that . " "Than why do you think he just showed up acting as if nothing happened ?" I wish she would stop asking me questions that I didn't know the answers too. "Because he wanted something from me and he knew that if he was to call or text me or whatever that'd I say no." I nodded to myself pleased with my answer. "And what he wanted was to have Emery's party together ?" "Yes." I confirmed. "So since he asked you personally in the flesh you granted him that wish ?" I snapped my head up to look at her . "Are you kidding me ? Yeah right. I told him that it wasn't happening ." I laughed . "Come on , you don't fuck me over in a marriage than just pop up after all this time asking me to do something with you ." I shook my head . "I was just asking ." Mrs. Gray lightly chuckled .

"How did Emery's birthday turn out ?" I now smiled . This was something I could talk about . "It was great. She had a lot of fun. " I pulled out my phone and brought it to the pictures and handed it to her so she could see them. She smiled at the photos. I sat back and smiled . "You had something at your home ?" I nodded as if she was looking at me . "Yeah I wanted something private . I just had family over and maybe 2 or 3 friends . I didn't want anything for the media to see ." I saw Mrs.Gray nod her head than this wide grin came on her face and she was silent . I raised my eyebrow amusingly. "I take it Emery also had a great time with Justin." I know my face was heated by now . I covered my face with my hands quickly in embarrassment. She saw the picture .

"Yeah she did . He had this whole carnival thing going on with A-list celebrities and such ." I shrugged . "Oh so you went to his ?" She asked . "Nope , I stayed home cleaning up . He picked her up right after the birthday party I had for her. But I seen the pictures on Instagram ." I looked down at my jeans embarrassed that she seen the screen shot photos . "I'm assuming that you liked this photo ." She grinned . "Yeah it's cute I suppose ." I tried playing it off as if I didn't think it was the sweetest, cutest photo I ever seen . "You know Gabby it is okay to like the photo or maybe even love it . This picture is adorable . I'd print it and frame it if I were you . These are moments to cherish ." Yeah that is true . I nodded my head in agreement but didn't say anything .

"Who's this ?" She handed the phone to me . I rolled my eyes. "His ex ." I mumbled. "How did you feel about her being there ?" I sucked my teeth and crossed my legs . "Doesn't matter . She wasn't the only whore of his to be there ." I dismissed looking somewhere else in the room . "I sense that this is uncomfortable for you to talk about and it angers you ." I didn't say anything . I felt the anger coming to surface . "Are you upset right now Gabby ?" Mrs.Gray leaned closer . I finally gave her eye contact. "It just makes me mad that he had our daughter around her and all his other whores ." I tried to keep my voice at a civil level . "Maybe he felt like it was okay since Emery's around your boyfriend Jaron all the time ." I looked at her in disbelief. "Whoa that's two totally different things . Jaron has been there for me , for my daughter and I from the jumps. He respects us and loves us very much . Selena was a whore and slept with my husband throughout basically my whole marriage and than got knocked up ! Jaron didn't ruin our marriage ." I was yelling now . Not at her but just because this was all recent and I was still mad about it .

"Do you think you could ever get a friendship with Justin ?" She asked after it was quiet for a moment . "I-I don't think so" i stammered . "How come ? Do you feel like your not ready for that ?" I closed my eyes and thought about the question. "No . " I answered dryly . "I just don't want a friendship with him." I answer truthfully . "Isn't it hard having a child with him and having no type of relationship with him at all ?" That's the question everyone asks me . "Umm, I wouldn't say it's hard . It's just more comfortable for me . I want to keep my distance from him ." I slumped in the couch. "Gabby from what I'm hearing and what I know is that you still have a lot of anger , and sadness between you and Justin. You have a lot of unresolved issues that I think you found it easier to deal with by just cutting off all contact with him as if he didn't no longer exist but you can't do that honey . You have a child with him and no that doesn't mean you have to be with him nor be best friends but I think it is best to maintain some sort of friendship with him because he's the father of your child and he's in your life whether you like it or not . It may be easier to be away from him now while Emery is a baby but when she gets older she's gonna ask questions and wonder why she talks more to her father than you do . I know he's hurt you so bad and it's okay if you are still grieving from that but at least talk to him about it."

My eyes were blurry from tears . She just said everything I knew myself . I wanted to be able to get along with him and be civil but I just can't . He hurt me so bad . He's broken me down to the point where I'm nearly emotionally unstable , well that is whenever I deal with him . Mrs.Gray passed me the box of tissues . I gently wiped my eyes . "Did you tell him about the miscarriage...?" Mrs.Gray asked lowly . That made the tears pour even more . "Gabby if you want we can end today's session we can . I know this was a lot ." I nodded my head and blew my nose. "I'm sorry Mrs.Gray. It's just a sensitive subject for me . I never talk about it with anyone so when I do it brings out emotions ." I lightly smiled . "You know your doing a great job Gabby honestly . You went to rehab , you go to therapy regularly, take your meds like your suppose too, take care of your daughter . All at the tender age of 18 soon to be 19 . Your handling so much at a young age . Your a strong woman . You will get through this ." Mrs .Gray was not seated beside me comforting me . Her words meant everything to me and touched me . Not even my own mother said these words , but then again I never told her most of this stuff . "I'll see you next week than yeah ?" She lightly patted my back .

I stood up from the couch . She stood up from the couch as well and hugged me . "Take care." I said before walking out the office . I took my phone out and dialed a number . "Hey.....y-yeah I'm fine . No Emery's fine ....I was calling to ask if you wanted to go out for coffee....yes you Justin....yes I'm asking Justin Bieber to go for coffee (rolling eyes)...no it's not a date ,I have a boyfriend jerk off !! ...okay okay I'm sorry about that . Coffee though seriously please ...okay good . I'll text you the details ...bye ."