Love and War 2 Love your crazy

16.

I sat on the vintage green couch sniffling. Here I was again. Back to this tall building . Back to this same room. These same walls that looked gloom but brightened when the sun was bright and shinned through the blinds. I remember my first week here was tough. I think all I did was cry and not even talk.
How could I talk ? I just experienced heartbreak and death all at once .

The same woman looked back at me patiently . She was an older and wiser woman. She never rushed me . She just listened and I could actually see in her eyes that she wasn't judging me like how others were. Julie. My therapist . I stopped going a month or so again but now with all these built up feelings I'm here.

"Justin's back in your life." She stated calmly. I scoffed. "He's trying to get back in my life." I mumbled . "Tell me, what made you rush to his home that late that night." I watched as Julie placed a hot cup of tea in front of me and than herself. That's one thing I loved about her, she did try to make me feel comfortable.

"I don't know honestly . I just...I don't know. I had a dream of the day our divorce was finalized and the day that I had a miscarriage ." I grimaced while answering the question . "Does he know about the miscarriage ?" Julie asked taking a sip of her tea. "No he doesn't." I frowned . "Would you tell him ?" I took a moment to think about that one . "No."

"And why not ?" She asked leaning back in her chair . "Because it's in the past ." I said as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Yes it's in the past yet it still hurts you and greatly affects you. Maybe you should talk to Justin and tell him how you feel about all of this . It seems as though ever since he's came into your life old and new and unwanted feelings have occurred and your not so sure what to do about it. He's came back in your life acting as though nothing happened between you both." Julie concluded .

She was right. I guess she was right. I don't know. I just know that with myself things have to change."I smoked with him , Justin that is. I went to his house and one thing lead to another and we got high in his built in studio . Than he convinced me to sing a song ." I rambled not exactly responding to what she had said. "You smoked pot with him ?" Julie arched her polished eyebrow up in amusement . "Yeah I did . I never smoke pot. I never do drugs at all. I let him sorta peer pressure me into it . He wouldn't stop begging and asking ." I shrugged.

"You still love him?" Julie lightly smiled. "No." I said quickly. "I don't love him." I said again . Julie nodded. "What's this mean for you two?" I shrugged. "He needs to leave my life. I just want him to be a father to our daughter. Him and I don't need to hangout or speak unless it has something to do with the baby ." I said finally . I picked up my purse and stood. "May I leave ?" I asked politely . Julie nodded and stood up to hug me quickly. We said our farewells and I left. On the elevator I texted Jaron letting him know i was finished .

Walking out the buildings front door I was greeted by paparazzi that stood on the side snapping away and Justin in front of me leaning against his truck . I rolled my eyes starting to walk the other way. "Gabby wait !" I heard him call after me. So I wouldn't make a scene I stopped . "What are you doing here ?" I asked with annoyance in my voice. "I came to pick you up beautiful ." He smiled . "How did you know I was here?"

Justin looked around nervously . "I..I um, have my ways." I threw my arms up . "Stalking me now ?" I shook my head. "Maybe ." He shrugged. "What do you want?"  I asked him while trying to cover my face from the flashes. "Come on let's go , before more come." Justin grabbed my arm lightly and guided me back to his truck . He helped me get in and than quickly got in himself . "Justin where's our daughter?" I asked noticing the empty car seat. "Don't worry , she's in good hands." He assured. "She better not be with that bitch Justin or I swear to god !" I yelled . He knew what bitch I was talking about . "Calm down Gabby damn . No she's not with her. I wouldn't do that ."

I sensed Justin had an attitude so I decided to fuck with him. "You don't have a reason to have an attitude Justin , I never asked you to come pick me up." I saw Justin's jaw tighten. "I know what your trying to do .." Was all he said while he focused on the road. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked out the window .

After awhile we pulled up in front of his house . I watched Justin get out and than look at me. I was still seated in the car with my seat belt on. " What are you doing?" He asked me after he opened my side of the car door. "Im not going in there." I said dryly. "Get out the car." Justin said with same emotion . "No. I don't know why you brought me here. I never asked to get picked up nor did I say I want to come over to your house."  I argued. "Gabby please get out of the car." Justin sighed. "Nope." I said popping the "p" . As if right one cue thunder roared across the sky . I saw droplets start to fall. "Coming now?" Justin smirked in satisfaction . Instead of answering I closed the door and looked straight ahead. From the corner of my eye I saw Justin shake his head than walk back around the door.

I smiled to myself in satisfaction, that is until I heard the drivers side door open and saw him climb in. I groaned in annoyance . "Looks like we're stuck in here together ." Justin shrugged. I groaned in annoyance . Please help me