𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑫 𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑽𝑬《 Philippines CountryHumans AU 》

v.

2 years ago.

"When you passed, the World stopped turning and mourned." Were the words engraved in the stone of Philippines' grave.

Japan wiped his tears roughly. Not that it did anything to stop them, he just wanted to cover his face to not let anyone see him. His bottom lip quivered as he screamed. The sound ripped the air around the cemetery.

No one was there, meaning he had all this time to himself. Was he alone though? Was Philip here with him? No. If he was here, then he would be whispering sweet nothings into his ear right now.

"I'm sorry f-for- for abusing my power over you all those years ago," he cried, gripping on his face and scratching it. "I'm so, so sorry! Please..! I hated it! I hated me!! I never liked my anger tendencies, and I tried hard! So, so hard...! But I never stopped hitting you... I never stopped hurting you!!"

At this point, he didn't even feel the rain pouring down on his back and seeping through his clothes. He knelt on the dirt right in front of Philip's grave, pouring all his feelings and thoughts into a string of sentences that he knew would never reach his beloved Philip.

"If- if I was given the chance..." Japan started, struggling to calm his stuttering. "I w-... I would take your place... and you would be here! You would be here..."

Ah... how could he say that?

How could he put his beloved in his place? Philip would be sad... so, so sad. He would cry, he would weep, and he would wish the same wish he had just said right now.

Japan looked up and stared at the pouring sky. He didn't mind the raindrops that hit his skin like pins in a pin cushion.

"Forgive me... will you?"

____________________

Present day.

Loneliness. It is the state of being alone and feeling sad about it. You become desperate for company, for touch, for human interaction. But... sometimes, there are different situations where even when you are surrounded by lots of people, you are still lonely. It's a different kind of 'lonely'. It's the kind that hurts ten times more. Why? Because even with people constantly with you, you know that they will never talk to you. Or at least, as a friend.

Friends. They are supposed to love you in a way that you feel safe and comfortable around you. When you have many friends, you are not lonely. So why?

Why is Philip drowning in the silence... while bodyguards watched his every move?

Perhaps he wasn't lonely. Perhaps he just didn't like how they wouldn't move or look at him. They were like statues, and they only move when you make the mistake of almost dying. It may seem like a fun idea to have bodyguards because you can feel at ease with them, but that didn't reassure Philip.

He felt suffocated. It was just like his dream where every night, he would drown. But instead of 'every night', he was being suffocated all the time! Those bodyguards were always invading his privacy! The only time he was alone would be in the bathroom, and he only spends about half an hour in there for an entire day!

Hell! They watch him when he sleeps!

Philip huffed. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to tell America of his... encounter with the thugs in the mall. He really didn't have anything to call them... and thugs was what came to mind first. The country sweatdropped. He was bad at naming things.

To recap, Philip called America to tell him about the incident of the mall. It was all over the national news, but Philip wanted to tell America himself so he wouldn't get any false information. America became... protective? Philip didn't know. But apparently, America conducted a secret meeting without Philip and assigned bodyguards to watch him 24/7 without him having any say in the situation.