Better Ideas
"What, do you have any better ideas?"
"Hi, I was paged by Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd," you say to the nurse at the station.
"Montgomery-" says Addison, as she emerges from behind you.
"Huh-" you don't get it for a minute, until she clarifies.
"My name. The divorce came through this morning, so it's just Montgomery now," says Addison.
"Oh-" you say, as you follow her, and she tells you there's a patient with a foreign object stuck inside of her.
There are a million questions you have inside your head for her, like 'are you glad that you're finally leaving him?' and 'are you going to get together with Mark now?' and 'Did you hear that I broke up with Finn but I haven't told Derek yet?' but that'll all have to wait until later, because you're approaching the scan room.
And that's where you discover your patients, a woman who is mounted on top of a man, who ust have gotten stuck during sexual intercourse.
"He's the foreign body..." You gasp.
"I must have gotten something stuck on his new piercing. He has a new piercing on his-" Yeah. You get the picture.
"Well, let's see what we can do for you," says Addison very professionally, and you follow her to see the scans the best you can, as you try to investigate how you might get them out of there.
"So, your husband-" The patient cuts you off though.
"Ex-husband," they say simultaneously.
The plot thickens!
"We've been divorced for five years ago, but we started meeting up, and it just kept happening now, and I'm newly married to someone else but still-" the female patient rambles.
It's ironic, more for Addison than yourself, that the very day of her divorce she's treating a recently divorced couple, but you'll have to save that comment for later also.
Right now you're just trying to get a clear picture of them to come up, which is hard when they both won't stop fighting, and they both won't stop moving.
"Umm, would you be able to maybe, stay still for a moment," you try with the patients?
"Well, it's kind of hard to do that while she's on my-" the male patient declares.
"Right, I know, I know umm, but still. Could you maybe not move so much-" you try again.
"Pictures are still blurry," Addison sighs.
"What should we do?" you say, and also gesture.
"Well, we could try to hold them in place..." Addison trails off.
"You want to touch them, while they're... Touching each other!?" you flailing your arms a little.
"Do you have any better ideas!?" says Addison.
You don't, for the record.
But there still has to be someone on the other end waiting for a picture, so that's how you end up with Cristina moving the man's legs, and you swirling the woman's body around, not to mention in front of both patient's daughter, who just happened to walk in on this scandal.
"Alright, that seems to be working-" says Addison, once you've finally detached them.
"He's having a heart attack. Thank goodness. I mean, code blue!" says Cristina, as they wheel the man off to heart surgery.
