The Shy Girl

One Voice

My alarm blasts its dreadful noise to tell me that it's time to get my lazy butt out of my bed and go to school.

I brush my nappy hair out of my face and stand up, stretching my back and arms.

I sling open my closet door and decide what to wear for school, thumping my foot on the floor impatiently.

I come upon a green noodle strap crop top and my high waisted shorts, and glance in the mirror.

You could still see some of my pale stomach. The rest was thankfully hidden behind the shorts.

My dad has always told me that a guy wants a girl who is confident in her skin, had a bright smile, and took everyday as a gift.

Well, my dad told me that when he was still alive. So, I guess that's why no boy particularly likes me.

I slip on my brown flip flops and walk out of my room. The empty hallways of my house welcomely embrace me as I enter.

It was quiet, sometimes to quiet, but it never really got to me. I was use to it by now.

Especially when it was the day of my dad's funeral. Neither me or my mom spoke a single word that day.

I walk into the freezing cold bathroom, especially the tiles.

I brush my teeth, comb my hair, but I still didn't see any beauty in myself. My eyes wonder into my mom's makeup drawer.

I found myself putting on black mascara, dark eyeliner, and a little nude lipgloss.

That is what I usually wear when I do wear makeup. I like it basic.

My mom bangs on the door and I jump back in horror, placing my hand over my quickly beating heart.

"You better be ready! It's 6:32!" My mom shouts. I open the door and walk out the bathroom.

~

The principle holds the school doors for everyone this morning. I walk through and let out a quiet "Thank you," even though I don't think he heard me.

I make my way into my homeroom, only to see that my two friends were back. My eyes roll as I take a seat behind them.

"What's the matter, sweet cheeks?" Sarah asks with her country accent. I shake my head and take out my undone chemistry homework.

"I didn't finish that either." Hannah comments as she takes the lined, empty paper out of my reach.

"I need it," I complain, reaching for it, but she yanks it out of my grip again.

"You don't need it that bad. They're not going to kill you if you don't have it." Hannah smirks, ripping it in half.

My jaw falls open and I swear it could've hit the  nasty school floor.

"Close your mouth, you're going to catch a fly." Sarah teases, putting her hand under my chin and connecting my bottom lip with my top lip.

"We'll show those damn teachers. " Hannah rants as she lifts her arm in the air.

Sarah was about to say something, but the bell rang for first period and everyone scrambles out the door.

The bell rang for first period; chemistry. I felt speechless when the teacher came around to collect the homework.

"Maddie, this isn't like you." Mrs. Heather exclaims, putting her hand over her heart.

"I know," I mumble quietly, not meeting her eyes and stare at the end of the desk. "This will be a zero." She says, shaking her head.

I didn't have any of my three friends in the class with me, so I stay quiet and bite my lip nervously.

I only have Lizzy with me in seventh period math.

"O- okay, I'm sorry."

The day goes by slowly.  All my teachers were boring; doing exactly what we did yesterday.

Then it came time for math with Mr. Pervert.

I sit in my desk and wait for Lizzy to come skipping through the door.  She always brightens up my day.

The late bell rings and Lizzy was nowhere in sight.

I turn face-forward in my desk and stare at the blank board and daydream while Mr. Bryan yaps his mouth about math.

I think about what my mom is going to do to me when she finds out that I got a zero in chemistry.

She'd most likely kill me and then save me to kill me again, or give a boring two hour lecture on why it is important to do homework and make good grade.

All my thoughts are stopped when Mr. Bryan called my name out of the blue.

"Maddie.," Mr. Bryan says.

I glance up at him nervously and then the marked bored.

"Care to explain this equation."

"You... uh... carry the three over nine and then you... uh." I didn't know what exactly was going on.

"Pay attention," Mr. Bryan declares. I feel my cheeks flash from embarrassment and glance away.

"What a looser, and she wonders why she has no friends. She has no life. I'm surprised that she has the gut to even come to school." Voices whisper.

I jerk my book bag off the floor and rush to the nearest bathroom. I fall to the corner and burry my head in my arms and cry.

After the bell rings to go home, I stand up and wipe the tears off my cheeks.

I sling my heavy book bag over my achy shoulder and walk out the bathroom. I wait till the busy hallways are almost clear then walk to my car and drive home.

~

I'm back on the railroad, balancing myself on the thin railing, even though I pretend it's my life.

If I fall outside the railings, I live and if I fall inside the railing, I die.

I look up to see another train heading my way, but this time I didn't move.

Instead, I get in the middle and stand there. I die,

The train is almost near me when a deep voice yells, "No!"